


Is it better to remember? Falcon edition

by Llixale



Series: True Love série [4]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Memory Loss, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-05 03:32:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14035263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llixale/pseuds/Llixale
Summary: It wasn't supposed to happen, he shouldn't have been a target. He didn't have a soulmark.And now, he doesn't remember us.-Steve Rogers to Bucky Barnes about their "friend" Sam Wilson





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope it turns out as coherent as in my head, let's go!

“I need talk to you”

Never in his life, “I need to talk to you” or any of its variance had brought good news in Sam’s life. He hates those words. All he can do now is nod, sit on the couch opposing the blond soldier doing the same.

He does look nervous, he can see Steve thinking about his words, and the more he waits, the more Sam feels like something bad is going to follow.

“My mark, my Soulmark… it’s coming back”

Sam sight isn’t on Steve anymore, the blond is still in front of him but he can’t really see him, already lost in his thoughts.

Just when they had made some progress and were getting closer, just when Sam thought that they could have something else…Nope, cancelled.

He had understood why Steve was so convinced that he could save Barnes before and now the universe was sending them a pretty bold sign in the form of his ancient and, until now, lost Soulmark.

No matter what he could or could not be with Steve, Sam was a man of his words so he knew he would still help him found his soulmate, no matter what pain he could feel because of the situation. Still, it was hard to put some distance, the chase pushing them closer and closer until they got this weird intimacy you can only develop when you have to be glued to someone every day for weeks.

He tried his hardest not to let too much bitterness in his words, even if his body didn’t tell the same story. He felt scrutinize by Steve sometimes and had a hard time understanding what the man was doing. The more he tried to put some distance, the more Steve seemed to be in his space.

 

One night, it was just too much.

 

They were in Paris, missing Barnes once again. While Steve was on the phone with Natasha, Sam prepared himself after having found a nightclub to spend the night and forget about his unrequited feelings. No, they weren’t unrequited, they were shared, even if shared diferently, and that was worse.

Steve had made a weird face seeing him get ready to leave but he couldn’t just hang up on Natasha, he wanted to stay alive.

Sam didn’t say where he was going, just a “don’t wait for me” on his way out. He didn’t know the city that much but his phone was giving him all the information he needed. The night was a little fresh, he didn’t have a real good night of sleep since last Wednesday but he didn’t care. He just wanted to forget himself for a while.

The club was the perfect place for this. A little before 1am, he welcomed the warmth of the place, giving a twenty before letting his temporary blazer at the coat check. 

It was easy, one drink, two drinks, the third was offer to him by another guy and he was on the dancefloor. The club itself wasn't that big but had three different floors each with their own ambiance. He was dancing his pain away, getting two more drinks as the time passes until he feels a hand on his arm. He is ready to tell the person to back off. He is not that drunk but he wishes he was when he sees a wild and pissed off Steve Rogers making a simple movement with his head to say “let’s go”. He could argue, here, but he isn't that childish. He let himself getting dragged, gets his blazer back and the slap of the outside cold is a little too hard on him. Steve hand is in his and for a few seconds, he follows him until he takes his hand back in a deserted narrow street.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“What I am…What are **you** doing Sam? You didn’t even say where you were going, I had to look in your tablet and thank god I know your password. It’s 4am already, we have to move at nine, you know that. What the hell?”

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be here, I need to breathe” respond Sam, feeling his filter disappearing quickly.

“I told you, you didn’t need to come, you can go back if…”

“This is not what I’m talking about, Steve, I need to breathe from you, from us, I can’t take it anymore!” he says just a little too loud. Steve face is closed, he takes a deep breathe.

“We are going to talk about this, but not here”

“No, let’s do it here, I don’t want to do things just to please you. I don’t want to bottle up what I’m feeling anymore, it doesn’t work” insist Sam, trying to keep his voice in check.

“I know you’re mad but please, let’s go back to the hotel first, please”

And Sam knows he makes a face, knows he look like a child as he takes, what he thinks is, the hotel direction.

Fifteen minutes later, they’re back in their room, Sam throws his blazer on a chair but it just land on the floor. Steve locks the door behind them.

Sam turns to face him, arms crossed.

“I think you need to go back home Sam, it wasn’t a good idea, I’m sorry” Steve says quietly.

“No…Fuck you…no, no! I am not…” He doesn’t even have the time to totally understand what is happening right now. He doesn’t care, nor does he agree with Steve one bit.

“Listen Sam, it’s hurting you, I know it and you know it too. It’s my fault. What we have is getting in the way of what needs to be done”

“What do we have Steve? Uh? What is it?” asks Sam angrily “That’s the problem here, you are playing with me”

“No! I am not, I told you about the mark” he defends himself.

“So tell me, to my face, that you don’t want me. Tell it!”

Sam is so angry right now, and Steve can barely contain himself. Sam can tell by the way his mouth is shut but he doesn’t know how he makes Steve feel sometime, the intensity of it. Steve wants to tell him that he isn’t interested in him like that, it would make things so much easier, but he doesn’t want to lie. Not to Sam. He can only drop his eyes and stay silent.

“No, look at me Steve, tell me.” Sam insist before taking a step in his direction. Steve takes a step back, mirroring him, lips sealed.

“I can’t” he admits, very reluctantly.

“That’s what I thought, fuck your mark” Sam declares before stepping in Steve face, putting his hand on his neck until Steve looks at him in the eyes. He want to be sure Steve knows what he is going to do, he wants to be sure the man stops him if he doesn’t want it. Still, when his lips touch Steve’s he is so surprised he look at the man in the eye again. This time, it’s him who is grabbed and kissed senseless. It’s dirty, sloppy and leaving them moaning in each other throat.

He can feel Steve’s erection in his pants against his own, he moves so that they brush against the other and Steve brings him closer. Finally, Steve puts his hand on Sam’s arm and forces him to take a step back.

“I’m so sorry, this isn’t fair, I want you Sam, you know I do, but I won’t let you be second, you deserves better. I can’t act as if the mark means nothing and I can’t act as if you weren’t my anchor and no matter what I do, I am messing up” he confesses, pain in his voice, eyes cold because of the sadness.

“So what do we do?” Sam asks but neither had the answer.

 

So they tried to keep a healthy distance. They look like friends. They don’t kiss, don’t touch under the belt but oh boy, do they look at each other. They always made sure the other know they are “here” no matter what. It isn’t flirting per say, it’s just frustrating, yet Sam couldn’t bring himself to leave.

 

When Shuri and her team had said that they had a way to remove the words from Bucky’s brain, the very first thought Sam had was “So how long before Steve and him get together?” He wasn’t proud, but it was only in his mind so it was okay. He could be horrible and petty in the privacy of his own mind.  Right? Besides, it was true. Witnessing these two, it was so obvious that they were meant for each other. He, himself, wanted them together at that point, it was THAT powerful.

The first time Steve and he had fight while in Wakanda, it was over something stupid but at least it was in private, the second time, it was while they were in presence of T’Challa and it had added salt to the injury from Sam point of view because at the very least, they needed to appear united. They both had a different plan to a small mission and they were left both surprised at the extent of their fight on that point. Sam had wanted, no, needed to excuse himself to Steve, only to find the man venting his frustration to Bucky already so Sam had just stood there before leaving. The third time, it had been personal because Steve wanted Sam to go back to New York and had everything ready to dissociate Sam from him and clear his name. It had been like a slap in his face and never an “I won’t leave you” sounded as bad as what Sam had said. The flow of insults and threats said was shocking to Bucky and Wanda, both witnessing the fight. How could they say “I love you, I care about you” and look ready to fight was frightening, especially since Steve wasn’t the type to lose his temper like that.

Even at their lowest point, they couldn’t spend a day without looking for the other one, even if it was to stay silent around them. It was so hard. The tension between them was suffocating, nothing were innocent anymore, every move were calculated and they couldn’t understand what they were trying to achieve anymore.

 

 

At first, Sam had no intention talking to Barnes more than by politeness. He wasn’t a friend of a friend, he was the future husband of his almost boyfriend-in-another-reality-maybe. It doesn’t mean that he was hostile to him, it was nobody’s fault.

It came as a surprise to him however, when Bucky started seeking his presence for various intents. Training, exploring, and catching up on history…He remembers the time he was walking behind him, they were getting back to the palace and Bucky had turn and say, out of nowhere:

“I am sorry I am in the way of Steve and you”

Sam had stopped, fear crossing his face.

“There’s nothing between us”

“You don’t need to lie, Steve already told me everything, I am not mad. If anything, I understand you. I think”

Since that day, Sam had been less and less comfortable with Steve and Bucky. Never letting himself be with one of the two or worst, the two of them alone at the same time.  Four days passed during when Steve tried to talk and spend time with him without success and three days more were Bucky tried instead, only to meet the same vague answers and dodging.

The difference between the two, Bucky was more confrontational. By the eight day, he just came into Sam’s room passing by the balcony. He took a moment to see how the sunlight was hitting his warm brown skin as he was napping, two curious cats in the room too, one of them sitting near his head and regularly hitting his face with his tail.

Sam was handsome, it’s was just a fact that Bucky could easily see. It really wasn’t hard to understand why Steve liked him. Bucky had spent time observing each of them before when he needed to know how much trust he could put in them.

“Sam, wake up” he says softly, taking a step in the room and proposing his human hand to the cat before it move from Sam’s head. The man grumbles, open his eyes slowly. They meet the cat derriere and he frowns, then he sees Barnes, acting as if it was normal to be here. ”I want to talk”

“I don’t like that sentence” murmurs Sam, sitting on the bed as Bucky comes join him, without invitation. Sam is just glad he didn’t slept naked today, but it was a close call.

“I came here to talk about Steve”

Sam stiffen immediately, the white cat near him wants attention now that he is awake. He passes his hand in his fur in a vain attempt to calm himself.

“He misses you, you know?” continues Bucky seriously. And Sam wants to punch him, because Bucky has no right to tell him this kind of things. What is he supposed to do with that information? “Maybe my views of human interactions are a little rusty but you need each other’s, that much is clear”

“So what? I’m going to be the third wheel as if I don’t have anything but platonic friendship feelings for him? You are his soulmate, your mark reappeared despite everything that happened to both of you” Sam breathe, trying to calm himself. “Listen Barnes...”

“Bucky”

“Bucky, okay, as you wish. Listen, Bucky, I don’t understand exactly what you are trying to do here, you don’t know me…”

“I want to, that’s why I am here” cuts Bucky annoyed, looking at Sam as if he were the dense one.

“But I don’t want to know you” Sam pouts. He know he is childish and Bucky doesn’t take him seriously, he just laugh.

“We’ll see about that, in the meantime, put something a little more suitable for meeting a witch. Wanda is going to see Madam’ Noke and we both know we want to be there for it”

Sam makes a face and shoo Bucky away, the cats taking refuge in a corner of the room.

“I am not changing in front of you”

“But you are coming, right?”

And, yeah, Sam is coming, but not because Bucky asked. He doesn’t care about Bucky…Well, he does, but…oh, why think about it anyway? So, the grey shirt or the white tee?

 

Even in their current situation, they weren’t done with missions. Steve was eager to repay T’Challa as much as he could, even if they got asylum because T’Challa wrongly tried to kill Bucky in the first place. The missions tend to be a little different as the necessity to discretion was the most challenging aspect of them. People like Bucky, Steve or Wanda weren’t exactly the default here so Sam was included a little more than them.

It was nice, having his mind focused on an important task and not on how to not make things worse with Steve. The others, if they were needed, tend to operate outside of Wakanda instead. That’s why Clint and Wanda were sent in France, trying to intercept some kind of sorcerer targeting people with a soulmark.

Clint had a soulmark, so he would be used as bait while Wanda was supposed to cover him. They knew nothing about the sorcerer methods. They didn’t actually kill anyone, just stole their mark and, with it, the memory attached to the other person. Whether they knew who the person was or not.

The process of stealing the mark attracted demons too and while, for some reasons, they never attacked the victim, they didn’t care about other people.

Sam actually learnt about their assignment only when they were already gone. He wasn’t worried, Clint AND Wanda were a fantastic team and you would need to wake up early to beat them. He was thinking about the villain all afternoon. Why would you stole a soulmark? Why would that lead to memory loss? He could only hope the guy would be arrested soon.

 

 After his training with Okoye, he had spotted Steve and Bucky sparring. The thought of one of them losing their mark was making Sam uneasy. What would be left of them? If it wasn’t for their mark, would they be as close? Would they be together? Yes, they would probably. The mark was a symbol, not the cause.

Steve, who was talking to Bucky, stopped and looked at him instead. He was surprised as Sam didn’t look elsewhere, as he tend to do since they started fighting. He couldn’t decipher what the look on Sam’s face meant. He took a step in his direction and Sam started blinking, before leaving, head down.

 

He was spending the afternoon with Shuri when they get a call from Okoye.

Clint had been hit.

 

The moment they saw Clint, they knew something was wrong. His attitude was sinister, blunter. And a little more prone to violence too. Seeing as clearly the effect of losing someone’s mark was scary. He wasn’t someone else per say. It was more as if they were left with the Spy, the Soldier, the killer inside him and not much more. Knowing and being with Laura really had a big influence on his life. It was the version of Clint they would know if he hadn’t met the love of his life and got a family.

At least, he still knew them, but some relationships were a little twisted. Before, he was treating Wanda almost like a little sister, now he was only calling her the Witch. They had contacted Natasha as soon as possible and she barely could mask her anger at what happened.

“She is going to kill me” she had said, talking about Laura. “We need to fix this, and we better do it soon, we are lucky her own mark is still there because otherwise…”

Even Shuri was lost at the situation. It wasn’t like Bucky, his memories were inaccessible but still there somewhere, with Clint, it was as if they never were here in the first place. She was fascinated by the effects. Okoye was looking at Clint with disgusts. Not because of him, but because she thought the act of touching at something that intimate was horrible.

Sam needed to breathe for a moment. He was walking in the palace, ready to go outside when he sees near one of the labs' Steve discussing with Bucky. They are looking intensely at the other and from where he is, it seems to Sam that Bucky is trying to comfort Steve about something. The blond takes him in his large arms before kissing him as if his life was on the line.

While Sam knew they were together, he realizes at that moment that he actually never saw them kiss. They never were overly affectionate in his presence but clearly, it wasn’t because they had a problem with PDA. Sam was still here, looking at them from his (unintentional) hidden spot. It hurt, it’s true, but he had already lost so it was bound to happen anytime since then.

He could be mature about it, continue his way, and not say anything weird. He needs to do it, he needs to get closure about his feelings for Steve and now isn’t a bad time after all. So he takes a deep inspiration and walk. Bucky is the first to spot him, getting away from Steve, visibly embarrassed.

He doesn’t say a word until he is near them then stop, not looking at anyone “You don’t need to hide, everyone knows you are together already”. Sam is proud, his tone isn’t angry or indicative of any jealousy, he is just telling a fact.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable” says Steve softly making Sam shrug “It is what it is” he adds before walking again.

 

Steve waits for Sam to disappear before turning to Bucky “I have lost him, haven’t I?”

“Give him time, he is adjusting, we all are”

“I haven’t told him that we are going back in the US. I know the second we will be there, he will put as much distance as he can between us. I can’t blame him but…”

“But you wish things were different” Bucky finishes with a soft knowing look, brushing Steve cheek with flesh hand.

“I just wish I wasn’t responsible for hurting him like that. Should I let him totally go?” Steve asks not for the first time but still incapable of answering the question.

Neither can Bucky.


	2. Chapter 2

When Sam spars with T’Challa two days after, he is surprised to keep up better than usually.

“Those training session with Okoye did wonder for you my friend, you really have better reflexes than when you arrived, are you sure you didn’t took my heart shape herb secretly?” T’Challa jokes, getting on his feet after Sam found a way to lay more hit than the King intended to.

“She really must be just that good of a teacher. But seriously, I don’t know what is in the air here but I feel physically better, like my senses are sharper” Sam agrees, punching the air in a playfull way.

“Well, let’s try again”

 

Wanda and Bucky are against a wall, looking at their friend fight a little more seriously this time.

“Sam seems kind of different or is it just me? I really don’t remember him being that fast” Bucky tells her with a frown.

Sam blocks a kick and uses T’Challa momentum against him but the King recovers quickly and is soon behind him who barely dodge the first punch but not the second.

“Maybe you’re right. When we first arrived, he wouldn’t have been standing this long against the king. Maybe he is just better now but who knows?” she comments. “Do you feel different? Because I sure am not”

“Not really, I don’t think so. But…uh, somethings seems weird with my mark. I thinks it’s kind of changing. I mean, nothing major actually but, it’s like the lines are moving a little. Is it something that is supposed to happen?”

Bucky’s mark was on his head behind his left ear. He, himself, didn’t get to look at it often but Steve was more observant and lately, they had been mapping the other one body which had led to Steve noticing the slight change before finding that his own mark was changing too. They were concerned, especially with someone out there being able to interact with and stole them. At the same time, they were so sure of their feelings that mark or no mark, it didn’t matter to them anymore.

“Maybe you should talk to Shuri or Madam’ Noke about that, both of you had lost your mark and getting it back so maybe because you are different people now, the mark needs to change as well?”  Wanda finally suggests.

Bucky thinks about it then agrees, it was true, they weren’t the same as before the war so maybe the mark was supposed to represent that too.

 

Steve waited diner, where they were all reunited, to announce that they would be authorized back on US ground two days later.

The news was well received, especially by Scott, missing his little girl. Clint looked like he didn’t care, and everyone knew it was because of his mark missing. After all, not only did he forget about his wife, he forgot about his children too. Wanda decided to look after him and he was clearly surprised but didn’t say much about it. For the time being, they had no clue about how to cure him. They needed to catch the responsible first.

 

Later that night, Steve was knocking on Sam’s door nervously. He had something to ask and was crossing his fingers it would be well received. He needed to do things better with Sam before they end up like Tony and him. Even now, the less they were in each other presence, the better. He couldn’t imagine a world were Sam and him would be at odds like that.

The doors open on a Sam ready to go to bed wearing only black sweatpants and, Steve could tell by the way it was hanging low on his lips, no underwear. He went pink, trying to chase the image of his mind. Fortunately, Sam just turn back and go sit on the couch without a word.

“So uh, excited to be back home?” asks Steve after having closed the door and joining him on the couch as well, opposing him as far as he could.

“Yes and no. It would be good to see my family but…I don’t have a job, I don’t have a home no more so I was thinking about what to do” Sam admits, passing a tired hand on his forehead.

“Well, about that, Bucky and I wanted to go back to New York and I was...we, were wondering if…”

“No”

Steve stops, looking at Sam with a frown.

“You don’t know what I am asking yet” he protests a little cold, surprised by the tone of Sam.

“Oh, yeah, I know, believe me I know, and it’s a no. I won’t be living with you. Come on, you can’t ask me that”

Steve shakes his head, his words quicker than his head.

“I fucking miss you Sam, when we are not fighting, we are trying to avoid each other and we are doing a poor job at that. How are we trying to dodge each other while always looking for each other? This is ridiculous.”

“Steve, go back to your boyfriend, there’s nothing here for you, it's a no” Sam says dismissively before rolling his eyes.

“Just because I am with Bucky doesn’t mean we can’t be…that we can’t be…”

“Be what Steve? Uh? Friends?”

Steve gets on his feet, ice in the eyes, he goes to leave before saying something he might regret but Sam is too quick and managed to pin him to a wall with a hand on his shoulder.

Steve blinks, surprised by the strength and the turn of events.

“You can’t even say it, and you know why? Because this is not what you want” Sam accuses.

 Steve pushes him just enough to make the hand leave him but Sam is still in his space. It's harder to breathe.

“Oh yeah? What do you know about what I want? You have no idea and at least I am trying to make things works”

Sam pushes back, this time using both his hands.

“Then tell me” he growls. It’s a dare. Sam wants to know if Steve will have the audacity to speak his mind and stop playing.

So all he can think when Steve kisses him is “fuck”. The second he kisses back, Steve breaks it. He touches his lips with his hand, looking at Sam with horror. His eyes wild as he goes to the door slowly.

“I…” he stops. Sam knows he wants to say he is sorry but for a second, something dark is in his blue eyes. Something that makes him not finish that sentence and just leave.

 

Sam gets angrier the more he thinks about the kiss. How dares he do that to Bucky? How can Steve be that messy when it comes to relationship? Yet, he knows he isn’t innocent himself, they were two to play that game and just because he made Steve snap before him doesn’t mean he doesn’t still want the man. It hit him like a truck, being in love with Steve Rogers is too easy. There’s something about him that makes Sam be more intense and that’s the problem.

 

He needs to go away before things gets worse.

 

This is why, as soon as they are back in New York he jumps at the occasion to go on missions. He needed to escape Steve and, by association, Bucky. Lucky him, the sorcerer was found and they needed to intercept him quickly. They didn’t want to risk someone soulmark again so the team is Wanda, Natasha and Sam this time.

 

It wasn’t supposed to turn bad.

 

They weren’t the only one wanting to have some words with the sorcerer, they were twenty, and amongst them, people who had beef with each other’s.

It was chaos.

So imagine a building, with families in it, trapped left and right with soulmark’s shards acting as demon gate as soon as someone goes near them? They needed to get the shards, destroy the demons, protect the family, fight the others and catch the responsible.

They had separate themselves, Sam was evacuating the families, Wanda was collecting the shards and Nathasha was looking for the sorcerer.

Sam had cleared the first three floors, occasionally crossing path with the other groups but had managed to convince them that he wasn’t the enemy here and only wanted to protect the innocents. One group let him pass but he had to fight the other while one of them was fighting a nasty little demon looking like a six years old with three legs. He noticed that the one fighting had her mark glowing on her forehead as if light came from within. It was similar to the shards and beautiful in a weird way. The others standing left him to help her and he quickly escaped.

“Guys”, Natasha said through their com’ “You should come to the seventh, left hall. Now”

He runs to the staircase, quickly going from the third to seventh floor. As soon as he is out, he can see the prismatic light coming from an apartment where, no doubt, Natasha must be.

He joins her, the door is open on the living room where the shards form some kind of crystalline sun slowly levitating above the ground at head level.

“Wow, this is…” he starts, at loss for words

“We have to take it now, no demons appeared when I came close but it doesn’t mean…”

“Sam?” Wanda breathes as soon as she’s here. He turns to face her “Your..uh, ass is glowing”

Sam tries to look and he can see the mentioned glow where his tight and right cheek joins. Even with his suit. His mind stops for a few seconds.

“You have a mark? Since when?” asks Natasha looking him directly in the eye.

“And a delicious looking one at that. I bet you’ll taste wonderful” the Sorcerer voice echoes in the room before appearing behind the shards. The man is tan, curly ashy blond hair and dark eyes. He is in a white tee shirt and black jeans. Nothing on him looks out of the ordinary, which is part of the reason he was so hard to track. Even looking at him now, his face is so basic that you would forget him two minutes later.

“Sam, you need to go, now” orders Natasha ready to fight but as soon as he turns, a bigger demon emerges from the ground outside of the door, facing Wanda.

He turns to the window on their right and run, curling his body in his wings to jump through.  He doesn’t have the time to unfold them totally that a winged demon  the size of a small car start chasing him from the rooftop followed by the Sorcerer himself, flying with a tornado of tiny demons around him.

He turns in the nigh sky, firing with his two guns. It doesn’t do much to the winged demon who collides with him nastily. He falls a little, aim for the roof of a restaurant below and roll to stabilize himself, dodging the creature and tries to get a shot at the Sorcerer only to have his buzzing army of flies like demon to act as a shield.

He can see the red lights of Wanda’s power behind them but she will be too late, he knows it.

He is surrounded quickly and the man look at him with a sorry smile.

“You know, I wish I had another way. You won’t remember but believe me, you would do the same thing in my shoes”

“I highly doubt that” Sam respond as the man comes closer to him until his body is basically against his.

Sam can't move, the little demons buzzing against his skin.

“It won’t be painful, I promise” the Sorcerer say as his hand gropes Sam where his “soulmark” probably is.

It wasn’t physically painful but he did saw his memories, like an accelerated film escape from him, and at first, they seemed so random. History class when he was little, comics he had, meeting Steve…even Bucky trying to talk to him again, and again…

His body suddenly doesn’t respond anymore, he falls, eyes towards the sky.

 

* * *

 

 

He turns in the bed, pats the pillow to get it just right. Turns again. The blanket’s texture feels weird under his fingers. It doesn’t feel like his blanket and the more he wakes up, the more something doesn’t feel right.

He opens his eyes, a little hurt by the sunlight and groans.

“Sam, you’re awake! How are you feeling?” a voice asks making him definitely waking up now. He frowns, sit on the bed, takes in the surrounding. It’s a bedroom. A bedroom he doesn’t remember falling asleep in. It’s white, a large closet in front of him, larger than the bed, and the bed seems able to keep three or four people in it.

“Are you okay?” the voice asks again and Sam takes a look at the man, a tall, blond, beefy man with blue eyes. He looks like the poster child of Aryan propaganda. Sam wants to ask who he is but he has the feeling that he shouldn’t. He quickly glance at himself, he got clothes on him. Good.

He turns toward the man, a polite smile on his face and nods. He seems relieved. "Poker face on" he thinks.

“We were so scared, Nat said…she said that you had…”

The man goes closer to sit next to him on the bed but Sam can’t let that happen, in a fluid movement, he is as far as he can in the corner on the bedroom, fists ready, already thinking about ways to knock the man out and run for his life.

“Sam?” the man breathes, he looks…worried and hurt. But Sam doesn’t know him, so it doesn’t matter how he got his name, he wants to leave, now.

“Don’t come closer, I’ll get out of here now, stand back”

“Come on, you’re joking right?”

Sam isn’t joking at all, he jumps on the bed, tries to kick the man in the chest, he is blocked but isn’t he only one who looks surprised. Sam is ready to jump again but the man catches him and they falls in a mess of limbs.

“SAM!” the man says with strength in his voice, his arms around Sam and his head on his abs, like…they are not intimate like that.

“Let go of me!” Sam almost shout, trying to push him away but it’s like he is made of steel or something. Then, he is pinned again, that time by his wrists. The man is between his legs so quickly that he didn’t have the time to protect himself.

“Sam, please, you have to listen to me, just please…”  His face is so close, the look the man gives him is so pleading, so…sincere maybe, Sam isn’t quite sure, but something in him makes him stops trying to hit him. He shivers under his blue eyes. The man’s voice is tight when he asks «You know who I am right?”

Sam takes a look at him but…nothing, absolutely nothing.

“No” Sam answers honestly with the feeling that this isn’t the good thing to say. However, the man jumps out of the bed looking like this is the worst thing Sam could have said.

“Come on, I’m Steve…We…we…are…”

Sam has his back against the wall, near the window now. He looks at the ground but is painfully aware of the other man presence. He got a kind of aura, something making him hard to ignore. Sam is sure, if he had met the guy before, he would know.

“Friday, call the team, now”

“Of course Captain” a voice says from somewhere Sam can’t identify. He nearly jumps out of his skin.

“I want to go” he warns, fists ready.

The man doesn’t answers.


	3. Chapter 3

Several people are into the bedroom. He knows none of them but they relax a little when he does perk up at the name Stark and Rhodes. He doesn’t say much. They try to make him talk, answer questions but isn't that cooperative, especially when they tell him that he can't leave.

A beautiful redhead asks him something but suddenly, Sam is looking at his hands and arms, touching himself with a frown then pinch himself without much results beside the pain.

“You are not dreaming” she comments.

“I could be trapped in some kind of simulation” Sam says without looking at her, missing her smile.

“Maybe we should try another approach” proposes another woman, she looks younger than the other Sam analyses quickly. He decides to clearly take a look at each of them.

The young woman, she looks…nice, but that doesn't mean anything. She has an accent. The redhead gives him the vibe of someone who is dangerous and sometimes act like she is not. He knows better. The blond, with the physique not matching the personality, it seems, and long haired man with a metal arm. Nobody is saying anything as Sam focus is entirely on the two other men in the room. They are both looking at him with different look. The blond is visibly unhappy about the situation, the brunet’s face doesn’t give anything on what is happening in his head. He is the only one who hadn’t say anything and doesn’t “look” concerned.

“Why are you here Can-Man?” he asks with an unimpressed look.

“I am asking myself the same question everyday” the man answers easily, shrugging a little.

“Bucky!” chastises the blond.

“Bucky? What kind of name is “Bucky”?” asks Sam. Well, the blond is Steve he remembers from earlier, he knows the young one is Wanda and the other woman is Nat…no, Natasha.

“How can you lost your memory of us and still try to pick on me? Truly Wilson, you are a pain in the ass”

“But am I a pain in your ass in the good way, Metal-Beauty?’

Steve chokes on air, Wanda’s hand goes straight on her mouth, trying to hide the perfect “o” of her mouth. Natasha laugh. Bucky…Bucky frowns harder, then look at Steve, then Sam again. He looks like he wants to say something but nothing comes out.

“Anyway, can I have my phone please? I would like to call someone”

“I don’t know if that’s safe considering…what is happening to you” carefully tries Steve. Sam just shows him his hand, clearly waiting. Steve sights, he is the one with his phone, before giving it to Sam.

He quickly goes to his pictures, there’s nothing. But, once again, if what they told is true, then he wouldn’t have taken pictures with any of them if they could fall in “enemy’s hand”. It’s not a problem, he has another way to help him know if they are telling him the truth.

“Hey, mama, how are you?” he greets. Looking at the others for their reactions. Steve looks more serene, which isn’t the reaction he would think he’ll get out of the man. Sam quickly reassure his mother that everything is alright, he doesn’t like to lie. He lets the conversation fly easily.

“So, now that you’re back, when are you visiting your mother? And bring your white boy with you, after everything, it’s time that I met him don’t you think?”

Sam frowns, locking his eyes with Steve.

“Who are you talking about?”

“The Captain. Steve, you know, tall, blond, you always say that he is shaped like a Dorito”

Sam can’t hide his surprise. His own mother knows about him…them?

“I…I’ll hope it’s soon. Ma’, I need to go, take care okay?”

He lets the phone drop once the conversation is over. Feeling suddenly cold. He doesn’t want to believe it’s real but the idea of everything being a lie or a joke is less and less likely.

“It can’t be” he murmurs to himself, because there’s no way he would forget all of those things. Fighting, aliens, traveling, being close to them…he can’t...just not remember, he just can’t.

“We should leave him alone” proposes Bucky, already indicating to get out “He’ll find us when he is ready”

Sam is grateful because the second they close the door, he starts crying.

 

 

Steve wanted to be near Sam in case the man would need something but was trying to give him some space at the same time. It’s been a little more than one hour since they left him in the apartment Bucky and Steve (and hopefully, Sam) were sharing.

He is in one of the Avengers private training room, one floor lower. Hitting some bots mimicking various opponents. He tries not to think, letting his frustration as background noises

“We need to keep him close” Bucky says after entering the room and having let Steve fight for half an hour already, making him stop the program.

“We need to get his memories back, this is insane. How could he forgot that much?”

“Don’t do that to yourself punk” Bucky warns, getting closer to the blond.

“Do what exactly?”

“Overthinking. Memories are a very, very tricky things. I know”

Steve breathes out, passes a hand on his forehead, close his eyes “You are right but…come on Buck, aren’t you a little curious about who it is?”

“Now why would that be any of our business?” he teases, knowing perfectly well that Steve would fall for it and man, does he fall head first.

“Because Sam is our friend”

“Our “friend” uh?”

And that’s the thing they didn’t talk about. What was exactly Sam for Steve? And not for the first time, Bucky wondered what Sam and he were supposed to be too. Bucky knew Steve was in love with Sam, despite everything, despite their shared soulmark, he knew they shared something and he also knew that Steve was torn by the situation.

“He is” insists Steve, frowning. Bucky doesn’t push, he knows his lover won’t admit anything else right now.

“Nat and Wanda are going to that Sorcerer Supreme, Strange. Stark is looking for our guy, now that we have a decent head picture, thanks to Nat, it will be easier to find him” informs Bucky, changing the subject to Steve benefits. The man nods.

“M Barnes, M Wilson would like for you to go back to the apartment” Friday says, already opening the door for them.

Steve can’t hide his disappointment, but he tries to not take it personally. He gives a quick peck to his man and tells him to go while he checks with Clint.

 

Bucky finds Sam in the living room of his shared apartment with Steve. The same apartment Steve has chosen after convincing Bucky that living with him and Sam would be a good idea, Because what could go wrong, living with your soulmate almost boyfriend who gave up everything’s to help you both?

He looks vulnerable. Bucky remembers that look, he has the same sometimes. This is someone who question everything in his life. He knows Sam has his doubts sometimes but he had never let him see them like that.

“Sometimes, I just have nothing, sometimes, I thinks I have false memories…I can’t tell” Sam says with a small voice “You know I can’t just believe that, I can’t…It makes no sense I…”

“Sam, breathe. Because your mark has been taken, every memories you got linked to your soulmate are gone. Which mean, whether you knew who it was or not, it was someone close to you. We don’t understand more than you why you would even totally forget Steve since you got Captain America comics when you were little but...I know what it’s like to lose a part of yourself so I am here if you need it”

Sam turns to look at him, eyes red.

“Can you tell me what happened to you?”

Bucky smile, before going to sit next to him and telling him everything. Sam is hanging on every words, looking shocked most of the time.  Bucky doesn’t talk about the soulmate part, he doesn’t think it’s relevant until Sam hand goes to his shoulder.

“Man, I am so sorry” he wipes a tear “How can people be that evil? Damn”

“Well…thanks…”

Bucky is cut by Sam hugging him. This is a first.

“I don’t care if I am losing my mind or else, you are an inspiration, you can count on me anytime. And I am not saying this because you’re good looking, you truly didn’t deserve all of this, I hope you know it. I am working with vets…well, you already know that. Do you have all the help you need?”

Bucky frowns again, he has no idea where this almost flirt is coming from and doesn’t know how to respond to it. He doesn't even want to correct him about the job he thinks he still have.

 “Well, having friends and a team looking for you and support you is everything. I wouldn’t have done it alone”

Sam nods, smiling brightly. He never smile like that at Bucky. Maybe that’s why, Bucky smiles too.

“You know what, I am tired of staying here, maybe you could make me visit and we could grab diner or something?” Sam proposes hopeful.

Deep down, Bucky’s brain is sending him an alert but right now, he decides to ignore it.

“Yeah, of course. Anything Sam”

 

 

Twenty four hours, it’s all it had taken to Sam and Bucky to be closer than they ever were. That was something Bucky hated in fact because it had proven what he suspected since meeting Sam: They could easily be friends if Sam had wanted to. He knows it’s because of the situation with Steve but really, without the…jealousy, both of them were happier. Something was stopping Bucky from saying that he was with Steve but he wouldn’t be able to keep it to himself for long, especially since Sam wasn’t shy about finding Bucky good looking. It was also just a matter of time before Steve would stop staying away and would want to be close to Sam too.

“I really don’t understand how my Ma’ would want to meet Steve since I basically became an enemy of the nation just for his lilly white ass. I hope Sarah doesn’t know about that, I will never ever see the end of this” Sam was laughing after hearing another story about them from Bucky “You know what, I think about going to see her tomorrow, you should come too”

“You want me to come with you? Meet your family?” tries to clarify Bucky, smile dropping a little.

They were going back from Ikea, Sam wanted some furniture for his “room” since he was staying with them. None of them had say anything about the fact that the Sam with memories did not want to stay here.

“Yeah, why not? She should know you. It will be fun, she is an amazing cook too and I think it will be less weird instead of just me and Steve because, you know, I don’t know him at all”

“Yeah, I’m not sure about that, maybe we should ask him…”

“Why? Steve isn’t my boyfriend or something” answers Sam way too easily to Bucky’s taste.

“No he isn’t” he concede, immediately thinking “but he is mine and you wanted him so right now you are in dangerous water Wilson”.

“So you wanna come or what? Your precious Steve is coming too, relax, it’s like you don’t like to spend time with me” he pouts, trying to act cute.

“Fuck” Bucky thinks, because it works. He rolls his eyes, put his arm around Sam neck playfully “Let’s put everything in your room before Steve is back”

“Well, about that. Why is that you all have your shit installed and my room is blank like I never set foot in it? Where are my stuff? My clothes?”

Bucky can either lie or tell the truth. He opts for the truth…well, not all of it but it’ll do.

“You weren’t actually that happy to live with us”

Sam gives him a look showing how weird that’s seems to him, especially after spending a lot of time listening to Bucky, Wanda  and Scott saying how close those three were. He doesn’t press the subject.

 

Meeting Sam’s mother has been as weird as it could possibly be. First of all, his sister was here too and she wasn’t hesitant about teasing her little brother which was a problem since she was asking questions about Steve and Bucky he honestly couldn’t answers. At least, they knew from Dr Cho that he didn’t have false memories, even if sometimes, his mind was trying to compensate for the blank so Sam was careful about what he was saying. Secondly, his mother thought he was in love with Steve and the issue here was that neither Steve nor Bucky told him anything like that so he honestly answered by “what do you mean?”  when she had ask him what he was waiting for.

“I mean, he is obviously in love with you so what are you doing? A fine man like that isn’t gonna stay single for long baby”

“Why would I want to date him? I barely know him” Sam answered before stopping himself, cursing his mouth. Luckily, his mom thought it was a figure of speech and not the blunt truth. They were in the kitchen, getting the desert ready.

“Now Sam, you run across the world and destroy bad people with someone for years and you are trying to tell me that you don’t feel anything about him? Is it because of James?” she aks suspiciously.

“What…what about him?”

Sam can’t hide his discomfort. Sure, the man is nice, and cute, and has, it seems, a beautiful body but he doesn’t know him that much better than Steve.

“He looks at you funny. I don’t know. All I’m saying is that you have to be careful and that Steve is a nice guy”

Sam laugh from nervousness, already grabbing the plate to dispose the pie and ice cream.

“You know you look too much Drama, what do you think is happening here? I mean, you did make a beautiful son so it wouldn’t be a surprise per say that my milkshake would bring everyone on my yard but…”

“Now Samuel, this is not an image I wanted to have in my mind” she laughs “Keep telling yourself that and you’ll be able to fly even without your wings”

Going back to the living room, where Sarah and the two men were having a discussion about the political climate from her point of view, Sam decided to serve them.

“This piece is tiny” complains Sarah, pointing accusingly at her brother.

“You are able to eat the whole thing by yourself Sarah, you know there’s more in the kitchen” her mother cuts, rolling her eyes.

“You know, Sam is always praising your cooking Ms Wilson, I can tell he didn’t even do it justice, this is the best apple pie I ate since I went one time in Lawton” Steve gushes, trying to appear civilized and not just put the whole thing in his mouth, like Bucky who is now looking like the wants to stole what’s left and never look back.

“Oh thank you Steve, this is so nice of you. Would you want some to go…”

“YES” both he and Bucky answers with a big smile.

“I thought the pie in the kitchen was for me” Sarah pouts.

Her mother rolls her eyes, Sam warned her about the way of eating of his friends and she KNOWS her own children. She had three pies ready.

 

 

“You sure you don’t need help with that?” asks Bucky, eyeing the pie Sam was holding not as carefully as it deserved if you ask him. They are getting out of the car, the night barely starting.

“No, I’m good, I am going to eat all of this just by myself because I’m hurt and I deserve it” he jokes, mimicking licking his fingers.

“Wait, what, you’re joking right? Your mom said…”

“Why should I share my Ma’s pie, delicious, rich, tasty, divine pie with two men I don’t know? Look at it, look at that beauty? Don’t you think I need this?” he wiggle the box with the pie in it when Bucky snatches it from him and starts running in the direction of the tower.

“HEY SWIPER!” Sam shouts, trying to run after him only to have two muscles white arms around him in the blink of an eye.

“Now Sam, your mom wanted you to share, you don’t want to disappoint her, don’t you?”

Sam stops, once again. The body behind him, the warmth, the tone… The second he moves, Steve lets him go, a big smile on his face.

Sam looks at him, not for the first time except, this time, he is looking for something. Steve is supposed to be a hero and he sure has the face and the physique to be a textbook Hollywood movie hero. But this is not what Sam tries to know. Steve and Bucky both are beautiful but not in the same way. Steve is more…radiant. Yes, that’s the term he was looking for since he met the guy. He is “radiant”, he is light. It’s not something that come with his body. It’s the way he carries himself, the way he talks, the way he looks at Sam and what it made Sam feels. His body is responding to the guy in a way Sam doesn’t exactly understand because of the lack of memories. But his body definitely knows something even if “he” forgot.

Sam did saw a lot of footage of him and Steve and or Bucky and other Avengers too.  Everyone is saying that Steve is definitely the closest to him but their phone messages doesn’t reflect that at all. Sam, knowing himself can only deduce that either Steve did something bad and he was mad at him or he was in love with Steve at some point. Considering that they told him he was single, the feelings weren’t reciprocal. Maybe that’s why he didn’t want to live with them? What if Steve was his ex and he had a crush on Bucky?

“What?” Steve asks softly, smiling at Sam.

“Are you straight?”

Sam looks at Steve turn an interesting shade of red. He passes his hand on his face, looking pensive for a few seconds. Night is falling and it’s starting to feel a little fresh, or maybe this is Sam’s nerves’ doing.

“No, I am not. Why are you asking?”

“Did I knew that, before?” Sam asks trying to figure out what was his relation with the blond. He could ask him, but it would be what Steve perceives and not what Sam was thinking about and that’s if the man says the truth.

“Yes, you knew”

The tone alone makes Sam pensive. “Yes I knew and it was a problem?” or “Yes I knew because I “KNEW” you?” he wants to ask. Instead he shrugs, turns and walk to the tower, Steve Rogers behind him.

Something doesn’t add up.


	4. Chapter 4

Among the long list of people Sam forgot about was Clint. Clint Barton was…interesting. He didn’t have a serum, didn’t have any kind of super power, he was just a basic man with mad skills. From what Sam knows, the man is another victim of the sorcerer, forgetting everything about his wife and family.

Sam didn't know who was the luckiest between the two. He forgot his friend and job, Clint forgot his family. At least, Sam was with the very people he forgot about, Clint wasn't exactly allowed to go to his family. The man didn't want it anyway.

Nobody could be sure that they would be able to restore his memories and his link with his wife too so to him, it was pointless to learn too much about them.

“Everybody is telling me that I’m supposed to love her and it pisses me off. I’m like “yeah, she seems nice but I’d rather fuck the cutie at the Starbucks or even Nick Fury, you know what I mean?”

Clint was training Sam, discussing their lack of memories during a break. Sam wasn’t used to the things is body was doing from memory alone but Clint, surprisingly, was a good teacher.

“Yeah, but you probably shouldn’t because…that kind of would be wrong, I guess?”

“You are lucky, you are single. At least, you don’t have to be caring about hurting someone you don’t even know”

Yeah, he was single, he was free to do whatever without it changing a thing because at the end of the day, he didn’t knew his soulmate, more exactly, he didn't you that person was his soulmate. Well, that’s what Natasha and Wanda had guessed. It wouldn’t have made sense for Sam to go after the Sorcerer knowingly. Unless…Unless he knew and wasn’t happy with the person involved?

A dreading idea was making his way into his mind “what if he wanted to take away his mark?”. It should have been ridiculous but considering what his life was supposed to be he could have thought that being with that person would be too dangerous? Or maybe they were already taken and the pain was too much? In both case, he didn’t want to know. Between that and the issues he guessed he had with Steve before, he wasn’t sure he would have something to gain to have his memories back to begin with.

 

After two weeks and no trace of the sorcerer, Robert Gill, the only lead they had what the disappearance of his wife six month ago but the attacks started to be references only three months ago. The apartment he had previously used, Sam has heard, had been almost emptied by the time some agents (Shield maybe?) arrived. The night of the attack, Wanda had followed Robert and had been the one founding Sam while Natasha was busy with a big demon. She was distracted long enough for Robert to come back and take his things. The man could teleport. Fortunately, she had been able to snatch two soul shards and was working with Dr Strange to locate either the owner or Gill.

Today was apparently their lucky day.

“We can use this shard to track down Clint’s or Sam’s. The problem is, Gill travels through dimensions and he had made a pact with a demon so Strange couldn’t go through.” Was explaining Wanda to Clint, Sam, Bucky, and Steve.

“Which mean, once the spell is activated, we need to keep an eye on it 24/7 in case he would detect the soul shard. Remember, if we can detect it, Gill is in this realm so we need to be extra careful” continues Natasha.

Wanda put away the little green globe they will use to the locator spell and the crystalline shard before showing a fine and visibly manually decorated old knife.

“We need blood magic for this. It’s kind of hard to find something non tainted by black magic and using blood but it’s the only we can ensure to find the right shard”

Sam and Clint exchange a look, not pressed to be cut with something looking like it will give you at least four different kind of disease.

“Thanks to Rhodey, we have three squad all without a soulmark ready so we will move with you guys” informs Steve. Natasha and Wanda share a doubtful look but before anyone can say anything Steve adds, voice steady “yes, we are sure, so whenever you’re ready”

Sam couldn’t understand what that exchange was truly about, he simply kept looking at the knife then Clint.

“Let's do this already" Clint says as he follows Wanda's instruction and cut his shoulder where is mark was and place the globe on it, making him glow for a few seconds.

“The spell will channel a light that will guide us when the shard is found” Wanda takes back the knife and orb, offers tissues to Clint.

Everyone is moving to their own things.

 

Only Steve and Sam are remaining behind. They don’t actually have that much time together, alone. Sam is curious about him. He wants to experience for himself the closeness they were supposed to have.

“Hey Steve, what about we do something tonight, uh, you and me”

Steve is surprised. Enough for him not to say anything during some long seconds.

“You sure?”

“Man, can I be honest with you? Everybody and my momma are saying we should be like a freaking married couple or something but you don’t give me that vibe at all, I’m starting to wonder what they are talking about”

Steve is even more surprised, then pained, before turning a bit smug.

“Hanw, you wanna know me”

Sam rolls his eyes, turn away, straighten his shirt and just say “no” before walking, only to be catch by Steve in a move reminiscing him of the day they had visited his mother. The man was laughing, passing an arm around his neck.

“Come on, you can’t take it back”

“Be ready at seven” Sam instructed, grabbing the arm to free himself, only to find himself freeze when his hand catches Steve. He looks at their joined hand but doesn’t dare to look at Steve in the eye. Finally, he lets his hand go, walks outside of the meeting room, not understanding his own smile.

Once again, like when he trains, he has the feeling his body knows something. Touching Steve, he can feel it, it’s familiar.

 

 

Sam takes Steve to a bar he always wanted to go. They had a nice beer and cocktail selection, and reviews praising the chili con carne and the cheeseburger.

They were lucky enough to come just as the ideally-placed table was freed from three middle aged women.  Some parts of the bar were more intimate, less exposed and for two Avengers, being able to sit in a public place without being too much at risk of being recognized or eavesdropped was a blessing.

Steve was delighted. He had the impression of having “his” Sam back. The one who didn’t feel (rightfully) betrayed, who wanted to fight him, with whom he needed to walk on eggshell. He knew it was his own fault so he felt extra grateful. The time seemed to pass way too quickly as they talked about everything and nothing. Because Sam sometimes was a little more careful and shy, Steve couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful, and cute and fun the man was. Was he flirting just a tinsy-bit? Probably, but hopefully, Sam wouldn’t be able to tell.

“It’s good to be with you, you know?” Steve confesses while posing his drink on the table.

“It’s a well-known fact that I am good company” Sam jokes, smiling widely.

“You are. It’s just been a long time, kind of”

Here they were, on the most serious topics of the night, not even drunk to say that this heart to heart would be alcohol induced.

“I…we weren’t on good terms before the attack. I am not gonna lie, being with you here, having a good time…I know we would have resolved whatever was the problem between us with time but…I was still missing you, every day. It’s hard, because after what happened with Tony…and we weren’t even as close as you and I so I can’t stress enough how scared I was of losing you. I am sorry. This is the kind of stuff I should tell you when you’re fully you and not…now”

Steve looks relieve anyway and offers a small smile to Sam, something along the line of “sorry” and “thank you”.

“Here the thing Steve, we can discuss “whatever was the problem” and probably totally ruin the mood or, we can move on from all that and just enjoy here and now? The idea of hating you seems really foreign to me and tonight…we good, you know? Come on, Are you crying? Steve?” Sam worries, looking at Steve’s shining blue eyes. He put his hand on Steve arm, up and down, in a comforting gesture. The man nods.

“Sorry, you’re right” he agrees, take Sam hand in his own for a brief moment and finishes his drink.

The rest of the night is still a little heavier. Sam couldn’t totally shake off the admission that he was pissed off enough at Steve to stop spending quality time with him. Part of him was curious about the reason for that, the other thought that it didn’t matter, memories back or not.

 

When they finally get back at the apartment before 1am, they both are a little tired. No lights are on and they don’t know if Bucky is here.

“I’m going to take a shower before sleeping” Sam says as he takes off his shoes “It was fun, we should spend more time together” he casually adds, earning him a grin from the blond. Because he can see that he is ready to say something, he put his finger on his mouth “don’t say it”, efficiently shutting Steve down who cross-eye for a second. Sam take his finger back slowly, surprised at the sensation of  Steve’s mouth against his skin. His heart is beating loudly suddenly, he frowns, put his hand on his chest. Steve’s hand comes cover it.

They look at each other, once again, Sam’s body react to Steve in a way he doesn’t fully understand. Did he felt this way before? Is this new? Surely, lusting after someone who was some kind of your best friend would end up poorly. Maybe that’s why things turned sour between them. If that was the case, how was he supposed to interpret that hand on his? But it would made no sense that Steve would be interested in him in any other way than as a friend. He would have told him.

His hand is so warm…

“Well M Rogers, don’t look at me like that or I’ll have to invite you to share my shower” he half joke, his heart louder and louder. He knows Steve can feel it too. He needs to get out of here asap before he does something stupid. So he takes his hand out of Steve’s and pat him on his very muscular chest, his eyebrows high as his hand linger a little too much there “Uh” he eloquently declares “I need to…I have to…shower? Yeah, shower. Bye. Goodbye. I mean, goodnight” he barely manage not to put take the door of his room on his face  before turning, laughing at himself, passing again in front of Steve, pointing at the bathroom direction.

 

He locks himself inside, a little ashamed. Under the water, he tried to convince himself that it was kind of normal. After all, he is surrounded by heroes, people in peak condition. Each of the Avengers beautiful in their own way, right? And he is allowed to have momentary bad judgement, thank you.

 

“So, how was the date?” Bucky asks once Steve comes in his room. Steve isn't actually surprised to see him here. They may not have told Sam they were together and not actually have that many occasion of sleeping together but tonight was keeping on giving.

“It wasn’t a date” Steve quickly say, tossing his jean away and putting black sweatpants, waiting for Sam to go back to his room before going to the bathroom himself.

Bucky snorts while gently grabbing him to hug him from behind. “It wasn’t!” Steve repeats “he doesn’t have any memories of us it would be wrong”

“Okay, and what is the less noble thoughts you have about tonight that you officially won’t allowed yourself to say but you really feel?”

Damn, Bucky knew him way too much.

“You know I love the fact that you are getting professional help but if you start using that on me…”

“Answer the question Rogers” insists Bucky while kissing his neck and getting an approbative sound for it.

“It was like before, and by that I mean…”

“Before me” provides Bucky, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder. He knows Steve doesn’t like the implication but he nods one time, because well, it’s the truth.

“And it was so easy to fall into it, because even without his memories, he is still Sam, and we still connect, in a friendly manner” he quickly adds, making Bucky roll his eyes because Steve is in denial in a painful way «He knows that we were having a hard time before but I don’t think he knows why. He doesn’t want to know why by the way. And you know the funny part? He choose, by himself, the same place we had our first kind of date”

“Because he is fundamentally the same guy maybe" he pauses, thinks a little before going on "I kind of relate because he kind of avoided me before but now…I understand what you saw in him” Bucky admits, sensing Steve tense under him “so what happened once you got here?”

“I don’t know…We had some kind of moment…I think he was…uh, I don’t know how to say it without sounding bad” Steve confesses, hiding his face in his hands. Bucky waits, only cajoling him slowly to encourage him “okay, I think he felt…something…he seemed surprised, I really don’t think there’s much to look at and, as I said, it would have been wrong of me to take advantage of that for multiple reasons. One, you, two, he doesn’t want me too, not truly”

Bucky can feel in his bones that they NEED to have “that” conversation but isn’t sure Steve is ready for it and if he handles it badly, who knows what will happen? Especially since he might have something for Sam himself, in a way…he isn’t quite sure. Maybe it’s just a byproduct of being “friend” with him? Maybe Wilson just got that natural charm that makes you question things? Well, right now, he doesn’t need to think about it because he got Steve under him and he wants to make the most of it.

Steve may be stoic as Captain America but he definitely is not as Steve Rogers having sex.

“Bucky, no, he will hear us” he whispers “we can’t do it here”

Bucky was about to take his pants down but stops, looks at him, a grin on his face “then maybe we should go somewhere else”

Steve has a hard time not to laugh as he is dragged stealthily out of the apartment by a horny Bucky who gets him in a room Steve doesn’t recognize.

“Whose room is this?”

“All you need to care about is that you can make as much sound as you want here” Bucky answers, already clamming his mouth, making clothes fly somewhere.  Steve wants to argue but the wet mouth on his neck and the scruff of Bucky’s face is enough to make him moan. Bucky is really, really good with his mouth and nothing makes him more happy than making Steve do all those filthy noises. Steve is pushed against a table, lay on it, his dick toward the ceiling. Bucky looks at him when he makes it disappear in his mouth, his metal hand playing with his balls, then going up, and up until he gets the pink nipple, making it hard with the attention.

“Bucky, wait, wait!” Steve pants, the vision of himself still inside Bucky almost enough to make him cum right here. But it’s been a long time (from his point of view) so he wants to make it last so they switch position.

Bucky looks like a mess by the time they are done. He had took Steve’s place on the table and has been fucked with passion for a good moment, drenching his body in cum two times. The sensation of Steve’s penis leaving his ass makes him shiver, the last drop of white liquid pearling from his abused cock.

“We need to shower” Steve says lazily, already scouting for their clothes. The apartment has no personality whatsoever it look the same as all the apartment in the tower before they decided to stay here (even if it’s temporary). From what Steve can tell, no one is living here.

They quickly shower but take their times to leave, reality crashes on Bucky before Steve so he asks “Why are we even hiding from Sam?”

Steve was ready to open the door but his hand freezes. He turns to look at his boyfriend. He doesn’t have an accusatory tone or look, its look like genuine curiosity. “Honestly, I don’t know. It’s like…we should have told him when we introduce ourselves after he lost his memories but at first I thought it wasn’t pertinent and then…”

“Then it was like it was too late” continues Bucky.

“What would be the point now to do it? When he'll have his memories back, he will try to avoid us, again” Steve says bitterly “I just don’t want to mess everything up”

“Yeah, but if we get closer to him and Steve, don’t act like this isn’t a very real possibility here, we will be opening Pandora’s Box. You would have kiss him earlier”

Bucky lets Steve touch his mark, the familiar warm feeling echoing through his body. There’s a solution somewhere in all this, Bucky wonders if, maybe, they aren’t asking the good question to begin with.

“I won’t do anything to lose your trust, to lose you”

“Steve, this isn’t about what you do or don’t it’s about what you want or don’t want. All I need is for you to think about what you want and be honest, that’s all. The only way for us to be stronger than what is happening is to face it, together” Bucky declares, cupping Steve face in his metal hand.

Steve sight loudly.

“I just need a little more time”

Bucky would give him all the time in the world if he could, unfortunately, some things weren’t up to them.

 

 

“Sam, Falcon guy, wake up, time to leave the nest”

“Clint? What are you doing here? How did you come in?” Sam says with a sleep heavy voice, blinking two more times before sitting on the bed.

“The door was open. Come, I need your help”

“With what?” asks Sam, because it’s like past two in the morning and he needs his beauty-sleep. Clint grins, his “I’m glad you asked” grin Sam thinks means “trouble”

“I know where my shard is”


	5. Chapter 5

“You know, I may not remember Avenging at all but I am fairly sure that we should have the rest of the team with us on this. Maybe if more people where there when we got caught, we would still have our memories” Sam complains to Clint. Again. In fact, Sam wasn’t afraid to express in different way how stupid he thought that plan was, even right in front of the woman who was supposed to help them “beside, you say you knew where your shard is, not that you knew a way to kind of find where it is”

The house they were in was the smallest of the neighborhood, all in shades of white, black and grey. The inside was nicely decorated and Sam would even have complimented Isabella Santana for it if he wasn’t still wondering why they were here without any backup.

Installed in the almost empty cave, Isabella was tracing a complicated pattern on the ground with colored chalks, trying her best not to mess her brown bathrobe. She didn't seemed disturbed by the unholy hour of the night.

“Well, half of them would try to stop us and the other half are kind of useless based of the fact that two of us already lost their soulmark so…sorry not sorry. We will do”

If Sam remembers correctly what they have told them, Clint was used as bait and he didn't knew he had a soulmark so he failed to see how that was their fault.

“It’s done” Isabella announces, admiring her work. She looks like a librarian with her round glasses and tight updo. How her hair was able to look like that was a mystery. “So, I guess you have what I asked?”

Clint nods, drops his backpack, gets out the faintly glowing orb and the knife Wanda had shown them before alongside with two bottles.

She takes the gold one, the size of a nice family shampoo, kisses it with a smile and put it away. Then she takes the orb, put it on the left of the pattern. It doesn’t roll. Sam purses his lips because this is some magic shittery right there considering the perfectly round shape of it. She then proceed to cut Clint again where he already has been and put the bloody knife on the right of the pattern. The second bottle is smaller than the gold one, like some kind of sample size. She opens it and drops what’s inside on the pattern. The liquid, blood if Sam is correct, float above the pattern without touching before being joined by the globe in the middle of it. Then, the liquid starts to grow multiplying on his own. The knife becomes dust, twirling and dancing with the blood until it starts getting a shape. A door shape. It takes a little more than five minutes but in the end, it’s clearly a portal, not transparent enough to let them see what’s on the other side beside that it's a room.

Sam can’t hide is disbelief “What is that?” already having a bad feeling about it.

“His shard is beyond this portal, wherever it lead to, you’re welcome” Isabella answers easily then point to Clint “once you cross back, it will close itself so be careful about that” she warns.

He takes his backpack and goes straight through it, weapon first. Sam wants to curse but follows him anyway, double guns ready, a cold sensation wash over him as he crosses the portal.

“Well, seems like we are in the right place” Clint comments, taking in the bright room.

Shards, shards everywhere, all reflecting the light a small chandelier is providing in a rainbow of colors. There's not a lot beside that, a window on their right and a door on their left. In front of them, a black pedestal with a box on it. Clint takes a step in its direction while Sam look through the window. He feels lucky nobody is here.

“I think we are in hell man” he whispers.

It looks desolated, like a city bombed again and again and leaving behind only ruins and shadows of previous constructions. The sky is dark green and orange instead of blue. Sam can see things move outside, things that doesn’t exist where they came from.

“There’s a good news and a bad news, what do you want first?” asks Clint from his side of the room.

“What the hell? I don’t care…just…spill it out and let’s take the shards” answers Sam clearly annoyed and a little angsty about the things outside sometime looking at him.

“The bad news is that I don’t know exactly which shard is mine so we will have to take what we can, here some gloves, don’t touch them directly”

He throws a pair to Sam who put them quickly and starts putting shards around him in the large bag Clint has brought, even if it’s clear they wouldn’t be able to take everything.

“What’s the good news?” Sam asks because he is curious.

“Well, uh, you know how this guy’s wife disappeared month ago? Well, she is here…dead I presume so…we will take her too”

Sam pauses, looks at Clint and blink several time mouthing a silent “what?” Clint point to the box. The box being a coffin with a transparent glass top. The woman is looking like snow white. She doesn’t breathe but there’s no exterior sign of decay from what Sam can tell.

Clint looks at him, and with a straight face announces “We will use her to get to him”

“You…You want us to use his dead wife to blackmail him? Are you completely out of your mind?” Sam counters, eyes wide.

They are interrupted by a sound coming from inside the place and getting closer to the room.

“No time to chat, take the front I’m taking the back”

Sam really, really wants to argue but he is scared of what is coming nearer by the second so he puts some shard in his pockets and help Clint move the coffin. They are near the portal when the door opens, a guy…no, the sorcerer is here. They all look at each other before he starts to shouts “You son of…”

“Run!” Clint shouts too and Sam is going through the portal before the sorcerer does anything.  He can see Clint use something with one hand right before passing too and hearing the sorcerer scream at them.  Once they are both back in Isabella basement the portal disappear into thin air leaving nothing of it. They put the coffin on the ground.

“I didn’t knew we were kidnapping somebody tonight” Isabella comments seemingly amused from where she is seated on the steps leading to the rest of the house. She now has a mug in her hand.

“What the fuck? What the fucking fuck??” Sam asks Clint, pointing at the person at their feet.

“Relax, it’s under control, we just need to bring her back to the tower asap before he locates us” He takes his phone out, cutting Sam before he can say anything else and waits two second before giving an address and instructing someone to come meet them “we need to go now, thank you again Isa, take care”

“Yeah, yeah, go now, I want to sleep and don’t leave any of your soul shards here, this is dark sided. I don’t want that thing to wake up here”

“THIS IS DARK SIDED?” screams Sam before lowering his voice “not the part where we teleport to hell, steal someone with magic powers and take his dead wife with us? Without even mentioning the blood gate? Wait a minute, what do you mean “wake up”, she is dead”

She sips on her tea, making a face and clearly holding on something. Clint says her name once as a warning.

“Well, let me tell you that her soul isn’t in there” she lowers her glass, her eyes flashing hot pink for a few seconds before nodding to herself.

Sam and Clint look at her, interrogation all over their face. She huffs but proceed to explain that the body isn’t dead per say but that the soul had been removed. The coffin is magically infused to preserve the body until the soul (hers or not) is restored. Sam then asks her what the link with the soul shards is.

“Well, soulmarks are a link between two or more people right? It’s like a bridge and energy flows through it so I guess he was trying to use that energy to do something”

“Like reaching a missing soul?” suggests Clint looking at one of the shards.

“Yeah, and I bet this is his soulmate. Well, he must really be desperate because that’s a pretty extreme and volatile way of doing that. Like, unless something is holding her soul captive or something, what would even be the use? Especially for someone who can access another dimension or wherever you guys went”

Sam was thinking about it when his phone started vibrating in his pocket. It was Steve.

“We are so dead” he announces, showing the phone to Clint who pushes it back toward Sam whispering “nope”

So Sam answers, carefully approaching the phone to his hear.

“Sam?”

“Oh, Steve how are you?” he greats with the confidence of a child caught in a lie.

“Wherever you are and whatever you are doing with Clint, you are coming back. Now”

Sam got goosebumps all over his body. A wave of pure fear he wasn’t ready for. He honestly thought that only Bucky could use that kind of tone promising eternal suffering if you didn't listen, not Steve.

”Yes Sir” he answers before hanging up.

“On a scale from accidentally kissing the wrong twin to Ultron, how fuck are we?”

 “What is an Ultron?”

“Nevermind, let’s go”

 

 

Sam finds difficult to hold his head high as they arrive at the Tower, right in front of Steve, Bucky, Natasha and Wanda. He barely can stop his body from running away when they put the coffin down in front of them and they realize who is inside.

“You are supposed to be the voice of reason Wilson” Natasha welcomes dryly.

“Yet here he is dropping dead body at our feet” continues Bucky.

“After someone stole my orb and knife because they couldn’t bear to wait a little more” adds Wanda.

“You better have a good explanation about what you did tonight” Steve concludes hands on his hips.

Sam is ready to ask for forgiveness but Clint and his suddenly big mouth have other plans.

“Well, we had results and you didn’t. We have is dead wife, shards and a solid lead about what he was doing so I think the words you all are looking for are “thank you””

Sam doesn’t even need to look at their friends to know this can’t end well so he looks at Clint instead, eyes wild open, trying to send him “did you lost the last bit of you mind?” telepathically.

“Clint, a word please” Natasha says in an even tone before going inside the tower which has the merit to make him look almost afraid. He tries to be brave but the act cracks and he walks behind her leaving the body and the shards behind.

And leaving Sam with three angry people.

“Okay, first of all, it wasn’t my idea. I’m like Jon Snow here, I know nothing”

“I did get that reference” Steve says without sounding pleased with himself.

“I didn’t and I don’t care, that was really stupid of you Wilson”

“James is right, so let’s get inside with…all of this and you will tell us exactly what you did and how you did it” proposes Wanda “and let’s do it quickly because I’m not sure the sorcerer won’t be able to track you”

They all agree and Sam can feel holes in his head where the two super soldiers are looking at him from behind.

Before Sam start the story in Wanda’s apartment (the only one that is somewhat protected magically), they are joined by Natasha and Clint. Obviously she did something to him but Sam can’t tell exactly what. The man just looks way less defiant than outside and Sam bites his tongue not to say “I told you so” even if this is written all over his face.

If at first Sam isn’t comfortable about admitting is own role in the story, he quickly likes to adds his own observation here and there to what Clint is telling. The weird creatures he saw are in fact demon, the kind that were summoned when someone touched the shards. He thanks Clint for the gloves, the idea of coming face to face with one of them wasn’t pleasant to say the least.

“So there’s still shards at his place and you actually don’t know if you get your own in that pile?” Bucky notes, body against the wall near the TV.

“Exactly”

“And we aren’t actually sure that he was trying to bring the soul of his wife back but that’s a very likely possibility?” he continues.

“Exactly” repeats Clint nodding along.

“I thought you didn’t care about your family?”

Clint flinches at that, not holding eye contact for a moment before answering “I don’t like things being taken away from me, that’s all”

“Any idea how we can found if we have our shard here?” Sam asks Wanda, looking at the open bag.

“Well, now that I don’t have the orb or the knife anymore it will be a little more difficult but I guess I can come with something. Will you two be able to wait?”

At least they look repentant when they answer.

“I have to call Strange, you were part of a spell to open that portal so maybe we can use that link to identify he shard it was supposed to lead you to” she continues “Maybe I should go see your…friend Isabella too”

“Well, it settle then. Since we can’t trust you to actually stay put, none of you are sleeping alone for the rest of the night. Nat, you keep an eye on Clint” Steve decides, everyone but Clint and Sam agreeing to the plan. He doesn’t look happier than before.

“Oh, wow, geez, I wonder why Sam is with you guys and I got Natasha” Clint complains before being shut quickly by Bucky “Because he already lives with us”

Sam doesn’t try to say anything about all of that until he is back to their apartment and had taken a shower.

“Well, we are all adults here so…I’m going to my room and…”

“No. You are staying with us. End of discussion” Steve says, already blocking Sam ways of escaping. He doesn’t have a choice it seems so he follows Bucky to Steve room but if it’s like that, he still has a last card to play.

“You didn’t need all those excuses just to have a threesome you know?”

He can see Steve trying very hard not to say anything, but he still blushes. Bucky doesn’t back up one bit “because you actually thinks you could handle both of us?”

“Please, in bed, I’m the super soldier” he winks, bragging and bragging and hoping he wouldn’t have to prove it because…they may be a bit more than what his mouth can suck, pardon, chew.

“You ain’t slick Sam, we know what you are trying to do, remember, we know you”

Bucky takes his pants off, leaving him only in a white tank top and brief while Steve is already deciding which side he is going to take. The things is, now that he see them both, in the perimeter of the bed, the jokes doesn’t look like jokes anymore. He is supposed to sleep with them? In the same bed? He can’t. He wants to, but he can’t, because his dick and his brain are teaming together to sing “you want them both” and that…that he can admit in a certain degree. What he isn’t on board with his heart starting to ask what is happening here and if he can join the party too.

Sam doesn’t want his heart to join, he doesn’t want to look at them that way.  It’s already complicated to want to bone two people who happens to be best friend but to even suggest that maybe it could be more it would do more bad than good.

Something must show on his face, here, standing in front of the large bed with Steve and Bucky already in it and looking at him. Sam takes a step back.

“Sorry but my dick can only be so erect and right now, this is looking a hell lot like the perfect porn fantasy I had yesterday so sorry to tell you this like that but asking me to sleep with you, both of you, is too much. And nobody wants to wake up with my cock poking their ass so this is not going to work”

In the back of his mind, Sam thinks that maybe, just maybe, he really shouldn’t have admitted that. If he ever get his memories back, this is not something they should know. Too late now he guesses.

Steve is red, just so red, he looks at Bucky who clearly blushes too and they seems to have a silent conversation while Sam heart is pounding louder in his poor chest.

To his and Bucky’s surprise, it’s Steve who say “Then you shouldn’t have followed Clint into the sorcerer lair without any kind of back up. Now come here or we all wake up at four to run”

So Sam, slowly, very slowly gets in the bed, do his maximum to not touch them. On his back, body tight, eyes open toward the ceiling, hands on his growing erection. “Stop that” he thinks to the part of his body who wants to tell the world that he needs attention and got very strong opinion about the "from who" part.

“You are thinking way too loudly” Bucky says once they’re in the dark, still being able to see thanks to the large window.

“Well excuse me, just because both of you aren’t attracted to anybody here doesn’t mean you can’t understand my situation” Sam spats, hiding poorly his frustration.

There’s a long moment of silent before Bucky answers “I do understand, moron”

Sam is about to argue again when he does a quick situation analysis. They are all looking at the ceiling and all in the exact same position which mean they are probably all uncomfortable. He knew why HE was uncomfortable but what about them?

“Guys, let’s just sleep, we won’t be efficient later if we continue like that so…let’s just…do what we have to do to be at least a little better and just ignore…uh…poking things. Okay? We are all adults here and friends...friends too, obviously.”

Sam turns to Steve, affronted “Ignore poking things? Well, okay Steve, you know what, you’re going to be the little spoon and ignore my "thing" and see how well you do and if YOU can sleep”

Before the blond can think of an answer, Sam pushes him on his side and put his body against his. “There’s no reason I should be the least comfortable one” Bucky complains from behind before groping Sam and do the same thing Sam did to Steve.

“Fuck, this is the best sandwich ever” Sam laughs not able to keep a serious face.

“Guys, could you sleep now?”

“Oh, shut up Steve, you ain’t better than us” Bucky answers, starting to laugh too.

 

This is awkward until they actually all fall asleep. By the time they wake up, it’s around nine which is awfully late for them.

 

Sam is the first to wake up because Steve turned and his face is now near his neck. He can feel his arm around his waist and if he is right, Bucky’s legs on top of his with his hair half on his own head.

Steve moves a little, gets himself out of sleep lazily, eyes barely opening and looking at Sam softly.

“Morning Sam”

So, Sam, still sleepy, incredibly cozy where he is, all happiness and contentment just lean in and gives him a peck. The way Steve is looking at him now is full of interrogations but, and Sam hopes he doesn’t read that incorrectly, something like happiness too.

“And no kiss for me? I see how it is” Bucky yawns on Sam’s head, tickling him in the process thanks to his long brown hair. Sam turns and kisses him too, lightly but enough to shut him up.

“Happy now?” Sam asks.

Bucky shrugs but is smiling, then his arm goes from under the blanket, grabs Steve and brings him above Sam to kiss him too.

“I want coffee Steve”

“Then go make your coffee, you know where the kitchen is” Steve answers easily.

Sam is surprised, aroused and a little confused. That was oddly domestic.  From what he thought he had know, they shouldn't had that kind of dynamic, at least, not the kissy and cuddly part.

Maybe he doesn't have the full story here.

The three of them…what were they exactly?

 


	6. Chapter 6

Sam may or may not have spent the next forty height hours screaming internally as the intimacy between Bucky, Steve and him increased noticeably.

The casual touches, lingering looks and even sleeping together was suddenly the new rules. They didn't even talked about it. It just suddenly "was".

Natasha and Wanda didn’t bat an eye when they had seen Steve kiss Bucky after coming back from Strange with Sam (he wanted to know more about magic and was thrilled to see the man’s collection of artefacts, even that one that tried to bite him). When they had saw them, Bucky and Steve just came to Sam to greet him in the latest fashion. He wasn’t use to it but hell would froze before he complained about it. The way Bucky looked at him before the kiss was daring him to say no. He didn’t. He couldn’t. He wanted them and if he could have it, then he was fully on board.

Strange had been too busy to help them himself but he did provided them with a pair of glasses after hearing about Isabella Santana and her methods. 

“I believe Miss Maximoff here will be able to use them to follow people soul threads. Certainly you would be able to identify the soul shard of your teammates” he had say before going back to whatever dimension he needed to go. Strange was on a schedule.

So here they were in one of Tony’s lab with each shard delicately put on several tables and Wanda trying to access the glasses power.

“I think its working” she marvels right as her eyes flashes electric red. She takes a look at Clint, then to the shards humming to herself before going to the table on the far left and pointing to a crystal looking identical to the others. “That one”.

Clint joined Wanda in front of the table. He wasn’t sure what he needed to do exactly so he tried to take the shard in his ungloved hand. The shard seemed to melt like water before disappearing inside Clint’s skin. The man fell, caught in extremis by Wanda and Bucky, the two closest to him.

“Is he dead?”  Sam worries immediately.

“He is just unconscious” Bucky answers after a quick exam.

They doesn’t even have the time to get him out of the room before he starts to move and wake up by himself, groaning.

“Fuck, my head…”

“Clint, you okay?” Natasha asks, siting him on one of the chair.

“Yeah, yeah, worst hangover of my life. Did I drink the Asgardian liquor again? What are you all doing here? Wait, where are we? What happened?” he frowns, looks around him “doesn’t look like Wakanda”

“Wakanda? Clint, we’re at the Tower, in New York. You don’t remember?”

They hear Bucky groans “not again” when Clint takes a little too long to answer.

“Weren’t we fighting someone? Like…the soulmark eater or something?”

 

Turns out, Clint had his memories back just none of them were from after the attack so the man now had entire weeks disappearing instead.

 

Nice.

 

Bucky was throwing his arms in the air while Steve, Natasha and Wanda were filling Clint the latest news.

“Laura is going to kill me so hard she will destroy my next life too when she’ll know” Clint observe after learning that he had almost lost her. “I’m sorry, I need to see them. I need to be with them, now” he had say before storming out of the room, Natasha on his heels.

“Do you think it’s permanent?” Steve asks Wanda, eyeing the shards sadly.

“I have no idea, Clint is the first to go through it so all we can do is wait. At least, the memories are still there somewhere…I think. I can’t be certain to be honest”

“You okay?”

Bucky turned to Sam who hadn’t say a word. He passes a hand on his face, breathes in, breathes out.

“Is my shard here?”

Wanda can’t help but look at the other two men before putting again the glasses and concentrating on Sam. She looks around her.

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry Sam”

“Yeah, it’s okay. We did left some of it at his hellish place after all. Well, we have to decide what to do with his dead wife anyway and catch him maybe? I don’t know…I…whatever you want to do I’m in. Can you excuse me?”

 

Sam was out of the room too now with no destination in mind, only Clint.

Clint had lost his memories, again.

If he touches his own shard, he will literally be back at square one and forget the last weeks. It wouldn’t be that much of a problem except…Except it means going back to how things were with Steve and Bucky which means, not so hot. t would be unfair to go further in whatever they were doing with the two men in his state. He knows it. He does. It hurts, but he gets it. In the grand scheme of things, it was a “small” price to pay to be whole again.

What kind of Avengers he would be if he decided to just...no, he shouldn't be entertaining that idea, it was dangerous.

 

By three in the afternoon, Clint was gone with Natasha. He didn’t want to wait more than necessary to be with his family. Everyone could easily understand why. He was horrified to hear what he had say about them when he didn’t remember them.

Steve and Bucky decided to help Wanda establish a plan to capture Robert Gill even if they didn’t had much experience with “magic”. Fortunately, thanks to Clint, they had someone who maybe could help in Isabella Santana, at least, for the right price.

 

Sam had been training with Scott, taking his mind out of the soulmates debacle by listening to his stories with Hope. It was easy to see why he had lost his first battle with the man if he could suddenly become as tiny as an insect. What was he supposed to do about that? Use a can of Baygon?

“You’re cheating” he had say when Scott disappeared from his view for the third time.

“No, I’m using my skill set, you should try”

“Try this” Sam clapped back right when Scott took is regular height. A punch in the arm and a kick in the leg to bring him on the knee. Unfortunately for Scott, he needed his hand to activate the suit so he found himself in a rather weird position with him on the floor and Sam blocking both his arm while standing on his back like a surfboard.

“Are you trying to take away my arms? Dude!”

Sam likes to fight people with different type of abilities, his strategic mind revels in the challenge of finding ways to defeat them. Watching some training footage, he knows he is not at his own level at all and knows he got a little lucky on that victory. Scott wasn’t a fighter per say but his suit was giving him a big advantage while Sam tried to get used to all the information the googles were giving him.

He releases Scott and they resumes the fight. Redwing wasn’t that useful since Sam had a hard time dividing his attention on the bot and on Scott at the same time. He wondered if Stark could be inspired by Scott and his ants to develop little flying bots. Maybe it should have better protection too because he ain’t about to get shot in the sky like Riley did.

They took a pause, talking about their suit pushing Scott to try to take him to the dark side (understand, make Pym Tech do a brand new one instead of Stark).

The spirit was light until Bucky came meet them. They knew from his serious face that they had come with a plan. A simple head motion and they were following him in one of the undergrounds floors. Through corridors and corridors they finally gets to a large room with padded white and grey walls. The wooden floor at least cut the impression of padded cell that kind of setting was providing.

Wanda and Steve were there with Isabella. The woman still looked like a mix between an art teacher and an accountant with her stilettos and her tight hairdo but oversized neon pull over at the same time.

“Good, you’re here, The Falcon right?” she takes Sam’s arm lightly and make him stand above a white mark on the floor “Perfect, don’t move” before he can say anything.

“What is going on here?”

“Isabella will track again the dimension you were in last time but because we don’t have the knife or the orb anymore we need to use the residual energy of the dimension still on you” Wanda explains while comparing some of the drawings on the floor with what she was looking in an old looking book.

“So the plan is basically to go in his lair, take all the shards back and him too because we are fairly certain he is waiting for us” Steve adds.

Once Robert would be out of his dimension, Isabella and Wanda were charged to trap him here while Steve and Bucky would provide the muscles if necessary. Scott would be the one taking back the shards. The plan looked good enough to Sam even if he needed to stand on the mark for the portal to stay open.

It was nice too to have the help of F.R.I.D.A.Y. Sam had learn that the AI had several defense mechanism hidden in the room. Sam wondered what the place original purpose was. Was it a training room or a restraining one?

 

Surprisingly, plan A worked.

 

Robert was indeed waiting for them, screaming to get his wife back but between Isabella, Wanda, Steve and Bucky, he quickly was overpowered and captured while Scott had all the time in the world to get all the shards.

“That’s why you don’t made a contract with a demon, they always want to take what is the most important to you and in this weirdo case, his soulmate” Isabella scolded the sorcerer after hearing more of Robert story.

Robert Gill was coming from a powerful family of magic users, the only problem was that they only got their powers until they founded true love so while he was happy at first to have find it, he didn’t want to lose his abilities in exchange so he had made a deal with a demon.  He wanted to double cross them and take the soul back using the power of the shards or, if it didn’t work, use them in exchange for the soul of his wife.

“I am no expert but maybe there’s a reason you lose your powers when you find true love, just sayin’”

You could tell Isabella was having the time of her life with that story, she already was inviting Wanda to some kind of witch reunion next Friday because that story was definitely going to be the highlight of the evening. The two were making hypothesis after hypothesis joined by Robert himself correcting or giving precision on some aspects of his lineage. He wasn't exactly a bad guy but definitely a selfish guy.

In the end, Robert needed to take a choice: Bring back his wife (and surely losing his powers) or keep his powers and leave her soul alone. Sam had been a little chocked to see the man actually argued that he could have both but he couldn’t imagine what it was like to be in his situation. No matter what the man had choose, he was going to be arrested anyway and judged accordingly. He did stole dozens of people soulmarks after all without mentioning the demons things he had unleashed.

 

“Sam…your shard” Wanda had said while some agents were escorting Robert away, power dampened thanks to Isabella.

It wasn’t different from the rest of them, looking like some kind of crystalline stake, still reflecting a rainbow of colors. Sam would have thought being face to face with it, he would be able to “sense” something but it wasn’t the case. He couldn’t sense nothing from it.

But he could feel Bucky and Steve coming near them.

“A problem?” Bucky asks looking at the shard with interest.

“No…No” he repeats, stronger the second time. “I’m just gonna…uh…” he looks for something able to contain the shard without actually touching it and decide to use his own jacket.

“Aren’t you…going to touch it?”

Sam pauses, looks at Steve. The answers should be obvious, but he doesn’t know what the correct one is. Maybe he needs more time to really think about it? But how was he supposed to leave with his own shard without saying anything? Maybe he couldn’t, and maybe it was better to tell them. He opted for the truth.

“I am not sure” he finally answers before leaving.

 

“It’s been a week Steve, how long is he going to wait? This is killing me already”

“I don’t know. He looks pretty okay…”

“Yeah, but it’s not exactly Sam. He looks like Sam, but he is not. Not the one we knows anyway”

“I know, Buck’, I know. But this is about him, he can chose for himself if and when he want to go back to his old life”

It was the third time already that Steve and Bucky were having that conversation. Sam didn’t talk about his shard, and the subject was always deflected one way or the other. They knew they had a part in the reasons for Sam not to take his memories back but didn’t dare talk about it openly or at least, not with Sam. They were hoping to be right thought. Hoping that it meant “something”. Still, the affection had been toned down since the past few days. It was hard to pretend they weren't waiting for the other shoe to drop.

 

Bucky was coming back from a quick reconnaissance mission, not even breaking a sweat. The moment he came in, he could hear the sound of the TV.

“I’m home”

Sam was quick to appear in front of him, all dashing smile and shy look.

“Welcome” he had said before hugging Bucky and hiding his face in the crook of his neck. Sam took a deep inhale and Bucky didn’t know what to do between hold him even stronger or take a step back. It felt sensual, Sam’s body against his own, the way his hand was around his neck and the other on his cheek. He felt two light kisses on his neck so he broke the hug and looked at the man.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

Sam smiled but the heart clearly was missing. He broke eye contact for a few seconds before looking back.

“I’m going to touch my shard tonight”

“That’s…a good news”

“Bucky…”

“It is. It is! Sam, Come on, you know it’s better that way”

“Is it?”

He looked almost lost. The way he had talk made Bucky wonder if, maybe, Sam wanted him to dissuade him to get his memories back. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t do that to him, even if it meant loosing what they had now.

“Let’s wait for Steve and talk about it, yeah?”

Sam nodded.

They stayed glued together for the next two hours. When Steve finally came back home, it was late afternoon. The shard was on the small coffee table in front of the TV. Steve eyed it suspiciously before joining the two men on the large blue couch.

“What is going on?”

“I’m going to touch it, tonight” Sam answered, turning the TV off.

“Oh…ok…tonight uh? Okay, yeah, that’s…”

“Wow, so much eloquence uh Captain?” Bucky joked, earning a glare from Steve.

“Maybe we can have a nice diner, nothing fancy, just the three of us?” Sam proposed.

So they did exactly that. It felt awfully like some kind of goodbye party even if in the end, they weren’t much in a festive spirit. They were waiting for the moment it would all stop, dragging it again and again in a vain attempt to keep the moment for as long as they could. Around three in the morning, Sam turned to them, his body waving slowly to the sound of Anita Ward. Spotify wasn’t a cooperative playlist for the mood but they didn’t care at that point. He stopped dancing, Bucky was looking at him lazily from the couch while Steve was doing the same against the wall near the open kitchen.

“Ok, I think I’m kind of ready” he announces. “Are you all going to stay there looking at me or do you want to give me a proper goodbye?” he teases, unable to stop the pain in his own voice.

Bucky is the first to catch him. His mouth is hot. Sam takes pleasure in gently stroking his long hair, smiling against his mouth.

“Steve I swear to god, bring your ass here now, don’t make me chase you”

Steve comes, determination in his eyes “I can’t…”

“I know…” Sam kisses him too then, breathing against his mouth when it’s over. ”You are getting “me” back, this is a good thing okay?”

“You don’t even believe that”

“Shut up Barnes” Sam laughs “I can’t believe you made me fall in love with both of you”

Barnes smile disappear at that while Steve stuttered “wait, what?” and that’s the last thing Sam hears because he touches the shard and it melts right away. He can feel it find it’s place on his body and thinks "This isn't so bad" right before losing consciousness.


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks to Isabella and Wanda (with the special participation of Robert, seeing the light a little more clearly about the stupidity and damaging of what he has done) they were able to find who the shards belonged to. It wasn’t all smile and rainbow since some of the people really had a hard time during the period a part of them were missing. It wasn’t their fault but some things were said and done that they couldn’t take back.

All of them, like Clint, fainted when they touched their shard and were up a few minutes after, whole again minus the memories of their time without soulmate.

 

Sam was only leaving Dr Cho’s lab now after being out for more than a day.

“Your vitals are greats, more than great actually, come back in two days and we will check again” she had say before finally letting him go.

At first, Sam thought everything was fine and whatever the sorcerer tried to do didn’t work until he tried to access the apartment he was attributed in the Tower.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. why is my key not working?” Sam asked trying the pass again and again and still having the small red light.

“It’s because you are currently living in the apartment B309 Mister Wilson not the B210”

“What? No, I don’t”

“Yes you do” the AI responds in a way that makes Sam stop arguing quickly and wonder if the AI can be annoyed by his question.

Well, he will just go to the B309. Whatever, he doesn’t care. His sixth sense starts tingling the second he is on the right floor. When he stops in front of the apartment he prays the key won’t work again but the door opens immediately.

“See” F.R.I.D.A.Y. comments in a way an AI shouldn’t be able to.

Sam bites his tongue, he doesn’t need to be on it’s bad side so he just goes in, immediately coming face to face with Bucky.

“Hey Sam, I was coming to get you, Helen just called me to tell me you were up”

Sam doesn’t answer right away. First he looks at the apartment, immediately recognize one of his jacket along with his black pair of running shoes. There’s an open kitchen on the right, one room on the left of the living room, then he can see three or maybe four others room accessible through the hallway. Some of the stuff here doesn't belong to him. They belong to them.

He gives a look at Bucky and goes straight to the room on the left. The room has his stuff in it, literally as if he was living here.

“Why is my stuff here?” he asks without turning to Bucky.

“Well” he pauses “about that…”

So Bucky tells him about the last weeks and what Robert had done and why. He feels lucky when Sam doesn’t say anything even if he can tell by his face that he barely manages it.  Finally, it doesn’t take that long considering that Bucky omits the part where three of them decided to have some kind of relationship…together. Besides, big speech are more Steve things. And, not to appear like a coward or anything but Sam is already angry with Steve so…

“I brought you both to my mama? And my sister?” was all Sam asked and Bucky smiled, looking pleased and telling how it was a good time even if it was awkward at first. He doesn’t miss the occasion to say that he wants more of the pie.

“Okay…well, I guess I have to thank you for looking after me. So now that I’m good I can go back to…”

“Sam” Bucky cuts, rolling his head “can you trust me a little? We didn’t tried to murder each other’s when you were here so maybe you could stay, permanently. It’s nice having you here”

Sam shrugs.

“You’re kinda weird, man, aren’t you still with Steve? Don’t you want intimacy and stuff?”

Bucky knows damn well Steve wants Sam here. He, himself, wants Sam here because if the weird beginning of simili-relationship they had is to go by, they could work.

He wants that.

“Sam, please, just stay. I promise you won’t regret it”

“You’re still messy as always Barnes”

“You have no idea” Bucky answers big a big smile that makes Sam smiles too. He hides it a second too late with a cough before retreating in “his” room.

It isn’t that bad. It’s nice even. But, they were at Stark’s after all, even if some things weren’t his personal taste, he couldn’t lie and say that the man had given them all bad places to live.

The closet was big, the front was almost entirely covered by a large glass. He inspected the room and, like he thought, he really was living here judging by the place of everything and his transport case was stored deep in the closet. Well, he guesses his no-memory self wouldn’t had that many place to go anyway and he highly doubt it would had been wise to let him go back to his mom’s alone and unsupervised.

Thinking more about what Bucky had told him, he reaches the conclusion that they did do what was best considering the situation. He wasn’t sold about staying here especially since he knew that the only reason he had agree was because Bucky looked serious about it. If it had been Steve…He feels a little stupid now, he isn't angry at him anymore. It was more of an echo. Something he remembers feeling but doesn’t think is here anymore. For now, he didn’t need to think about it anyway.

 

After an hour ee wanted to see the others, he felt full of energy. Maybe he should spare with someone?  

“Bucky!” he shouts “I’m going to train, wanna join?”

He hears a soft knock on his door a few seconds later, then a head full of brown hair appears.

“You sure?”

“Go grab your things Optimus prime”

 

After fighting rather intensively for half an hour, Bucky started to wonder if Sam didn’t suffered some kind of side effect due to the whole soul shard event.

“I’m just sayin’ it’s possible that you’re charged with demonic energy right now. After all, they did open that portal thanks to the dimension energy stuck to you”

“You’re just mad you can’t keep up with the Falcon” Sam laughed, jumping left, right “Float like the butterfly, sting like a bee”

“Not with that fat ass” Bucky grumbles dodging two punches before having to block the third. That was dangerously close.

“That fat ass is pure muscle, I understand the jealousy. Mine is bigger and prettier than yours. Come on, look at it, look at that glory. Also, it’s probably not the only thing bigger so...”

Bucky laughed so hard Sam placed a whole combo on him. Bucky was still laughing even with his face against the mat.

“Asshole, you can’t say things like that”

“First, it may be true, second, keeping it with the theme I see”

“Fuck, I hate you Wilson” Bucky snorted shaking his head before accepting the hand to help him get up. The movement bringing them closer than necessary. Bucky looked at Sam’s lips. Yesterday, he would have kiss them. Today he couldn’t do that anymore. Well, he could but the reception would be kind of different.

Sam saw that, his heart started to beat louder. What to do with that? It was the energy only. Sometimes, fighting was putting you in a weird mood. “Nothing to see here” he thought, going to resume their fighting stance.

They fight again for a full hour before Sam gave up, exhausted and satisfied.

“Let’s take a shower” Bucky proposed, throwing a clean towel to him.

“Wow, buy me dinner first hot stuff”. Sam smiled faded when he saw Bucky’s confusion “Sorry, I shouldn’t have say that, I don’t know what…forget that” he passed the towel on his face, before moving to get out of the training room.

Bucky’s eyes were narrowed, looking at Sam go while thinking about what he had just said and how. He didn’t want to read too much into it but maybe there was something.

Maybe there was hope.

After the shower, Sam bumped into Scott. The man thought it was a good occasion, since he had his memories back, to actually meet Henry Pym. Just to see the concurrence, gets new ideas, that kind of things. Sam, not wanting to offend them agreed, even if he would rather see what Shuri had to say about it but more opinion couldn’t hurt.

 

 

Bucky was waiting for Steve to come back and the second his boyfriend set foot in the parking, he was there to collect him and drag him into their apartment.

“Someone is happy to see me” Steve flirted, kissing his neck and ear.

“Don’t distract me now, we need to talk.”

“But I like to distract you” Steve complained before promptly resuming his kissing against the newly closed door.

“Sam is awake”

Steve stopped before slowly look in Bucky’s eyes inviting him to continue.

“I told him what happened during the last weeks and managed to convince him to stay here for now. I don’t know how long he will agree to that”

“You told him…”

“No, not that. I…What do we do Steve? We won’t go back to the way it was. We can’t. We need to TALK to him and for that, we need to be on the same page you and me”

They look at each others for a few seconds.

“What do you want me to say?”

“The truth, I want to know what you want and even if I already asked you about it you managed to actually never say anything”

Steve tried three or four times to say something, his mouth opened but closed almost immediately. He took a small step back, just enough to have an healthy distance between them.

“I love you Bucky”

“And I love you too”

“You have to remember that, because I can’t let you think that you’re less than. I want to be with you, you make me happy. I can be happy with things as they are, with you. Just you.”

“I feel the same, but…come on Steve, please”

So the man looks at him harder, looking for something in Bucky’s face that he must have found because he takes a deep breath, exuding resolution.

“I love Sam too. It’s the same, and it’s different. What I want, is for us to be together. All three of us. I know I have no right to ask you that. There’s no "but". I love him too and I can’t imagine my life without him even if it’s kill me to have him hate me. I feel so stupid…before he lost his memories I thought it was better to have him be angry at me than just lost him and let him go because at least it meant I was still in his heart somehow. I know now how stupid I was”

“You were. We can do better now. To be honest…I knew from the moment you asked me out that Sam would be a part of your life. I wanted him around too, not in the same way as you but I knew you wouldn’t be happy with him away. So when he lost his memories…” he turns his head a moment, remembering all that happened between them “he gave me a new side of him. One that doesn’t see me only as your boyfriend or an ally and I want more of it. I want more of him. I can’t say that I’m in love with him but he has a place in me too and I want to figure it out”

Steve is hopeful, but wants to be sure when he asks “So you’re okay with it? To see if we could work?”

“Yeah. I am”

The blond man looks so relieve and happy that Bucky hugs him, kisses him deeply, making them giggle. It could be a new chapter of their life.

 

They talked about it more while cuddling on the couch. They felt better now that they both knew what the other was thinking about the situation and what they wanted. Being honest in a relationship may not be always easy but it was definitely necessary. Steve hand gently stroking Bucky’s neck and head in his lap, they try to imagine how it could be, the three of them with Sam, the idea is really, really pleasant.

“I can feel your boner against my neck” Bucky had laughed after the subject of “threesome” had been mentioned.

“Sorry, it’s kind of weird to imagine that. I never had one before”

“Well, it’s not flying car science, you’ll figure it out Rogers, in the meantime…”

Steve grabbed the couch hard as a hand started opening his jeans and push down his white boxer just enough to free his erection. With a lustful eye, Bucky started licking the tip, kissing around the head, made him slide against his mouth before putting his inside.

Steve felt the warmth inside him grow.

“Bucky I’m…”

Steve thought Bucky would stop, not suck harder. The first squirt was out when they both heard the apartment door being opened. Steve almost shouted as the rest of his orgasm disappeared in Bucky’s mouth.

“Oh Steve, you’re here” Sam said, almost surprised. Only remembering now that he was currently living with Steve too.

The only luck they had was that the couch was hiding both of the men on it from where Sam was standing, taking his shoes off. He could only see the back of Steve head. Bucky glides himself slowly so that he is laid across Steve, hiding his open pant with his body.

“Hey…Sam…how are you?” Steve asks as awkward as ever, totally red and trying to control his own body as that treacherous Bucky uses his metal hand to squeeze one last drop out of his poor cock and bring it to his mouth to lick it. Steve gives him a warning look promising him pain if he doesn’t stop but Bucky just smile and close his eyes.

“Good. I’m good. And you? Uh, is that Barnes?” Sam asks pointing at the man’s feet visible on the side of the couch.

“Yeah, he is…sleeping”

“Oh, sorry” Sam whispered before nodding and going in his room.

Bucky immediately starts to giggle and does it even harder when Steve hit his arm and tries to dislodge him to put his clothes on correctly. At that, Bucky retaliates by kissing him, making Steve taste his own flavor and leaving him a hot mess.

 

Alone, Sam finally got the occasion to try to look at his mark. Helen had proposed him to take a picture of it and run it through a database in the hope of finding his soulmate quickly but he wanted to get used to the idea of actually having one before finding them. And he wanted to be the first to see.

He was scared.

He didn’t even knew he had a soulmate until what was basically yesterday to him. He honestly thought that he would stay salty about Steve Rogers for the rest of his life and that’s it. It was different now, so he could finally let go of his feelings for him and not be jealous of his relationship with Bucky.  Well, easier said than done.

He knows, god he knows how they deserves to be happy and how they are good for each other’s. He is petty for nothing because, yeah, he loves Steve but he is also his friend. That soulmark was giving him perspective. Should he met his soulmate tomorrow, he would still be in love with Steve. He would still have that hope of an “us” and it would be unfair. Also, he couldn't stop loving Steve just because of the promise of someone special for him out there.

Maybe that’s why he agreed to stay here, with them. Maybe he could see it as a peace offering.

Mistakes were made but today was a new day.

He takes his pants off and his boxer too. He needs to do some gymnastic to see it and finally decide to uses his phone to take a picture of it.  It was a black triangle. Just a black triangle…No, they was something inside but Sam couldn’t really see. Touching the zone it looks like something was kind of in relief? Maybe? Maybe it was just some scratches or something.

“So, you’re mine uh?” he whispers to himself smiling before letting himself fall on the bed. He likes it.

 

He falls asleep not long after that and is wake up in the evening by Bucky suggesting that they all eat together since everyone is alive and well. Sam shrugs, remembering his decision to stop acting like a fool for no reasons.

So it’s nice, seeing Natasha with news of Clint, Wanda and Scott. For some obscure reasons on his side of the table, he is between Steve and Bucky.

“Don’t you want us to change seat?” he asks Bucky but the man says that it’s okay and just look at the menu so he turns to Steve  but the man is already saying “don’t think that much” so Sam slowly takes a menu as well and drop the subject.

“Does that mean that Vision will never invite you to diner?” Scott was asking Wanda “since he doesn’t eat”

“Wow Scott, don’t you know that you can’t ask people about their synthezoïd non–eating boyfriend?” Natasha quickly replies falsely outraged.

Wanda doesn’t take offense and explain that, in fact, Vision can “eat” and tell the story of the first time he asked her on a date.  He had heard that she liked some Mexican place not far away and had started eating like a regular human. Wanda was surprised but didn’t say anything until she took his hand later that night and he had been so surprised by the gesture that he accidentally phased himself and all of the chewed food dropped on the floor in the middle of the street.

Vision had been so mortified that he phased himself in the ground and only reappeared in front of Wanda two days after.

Wanda looked pleased and smitten by the story. Steve and Bucky were shocked and disgusted but Sam and Scott were laughing to the point where they were laughing at their own added comments “dude, stop that, you’ll make me pee myself” Scott was saying through his hands “please, don’t go there” Sam had answered, trying to hold himself to the table.

“Apparently some of us doesn’t need to go anywhere” Natasha had added hiding her smile behind her hair. Sam and Scott couldn’t stop laughing for five minutes, the waitress having to come back later to take the orders.

It goes well, really, even if Steve and Bucky both wonder if they will have to kill Scott when the man say that he is happy that they ‘Steve, Sam and Bucky” are still good now and that they inspire him. Luckily for them, Sam doesn’t understand that the same way everyone else does because he starts answering:

“Well, uh, about that…I think it’s time for me to apologize to you Steve, and also you Bucky for the way I acted before. We can talk about it later but I think, since I let my attitude interfered with missions, you all need to hear that. I’ll do better now and I actually thinks that this is a good things that you’re together guys”

Wanda and Natasha are looking at the two supersoldiers with a confused look.

“What do you mean?” Scott asks, even if Natasha hit him under the table and Wanda coughs to try to cover the question.

“Well” Sam starts “I think that it’s not healthy to live in the past. I don’t want to be that messy person who got in a new relationship but is still pining for his…uh, for someone else. Beside Bucky doesn’t deserve that kind of situation”. He turns to Bucky “Dude, you tried to open up to me when we were in Wakanda and I wasn’t nice to you most of the time so I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong”

Bucky is frozen, his thoughts are bouncing in his head and he doesn’t know what to do.

“Hanw, too bad, you were cute together” Scott continue and that time, it’s not even subtle when he is hit by both Wanda, Natasha AND Steve.

“Well, we never were together Scott, and it’s not really a nice thing to say in front of Steve and Bucky. Man, you need to work on your tact” Sam laughs “I hope you don’t say things like that in front of my Soulmate when I’ll find them, you could ruin my relationship with that mouth of yours”

“Yeah Scott, you could ruin relationship with your mouth so watch it” Bucky adds mouth almost shut and threatening.

Steve eyes are wide open on his menu, mind focused on one thing and one thing only: Sam’s Soulmate. It’s making him angry. He is so close…Too close to give up. Now that Bucky and him are on the same page he will NOT let some nobody come and take THEIR Sam.

 

The subject his dropped and they manage to have a nice dinner, especially when Scott excuses himself to go to the restroom and Natasha follows him to have some words of choices.

 

Sam feels nice. His chest doesn’t hurt when he sees Steve and Bucky interact. It’s okay now. It will take some time but it’s okay. Walking with them to their apartment in silence doesn’t feel heavy.

“You don’t need to sleep in separate room for me you know? If you want. I meant what I said earlier. I want you guys happy” he said, touching their arm in a very “make love not war” way.  “Going to the bathroom then sleep. See you tomorrow”

“Bye Sam” they answered. As soon as he was out of sight they were whispering furiously. “Fuck Scott, I’m going to slap him next time. Did you hear that? “you were cute together” Bucky mimics with a face.

“Not if I put my hand on him first. He ruined our plan. How could a single man destroy our plan like that?”

“Steve, let me tell you, I don’t know what I will do to him, but I will do it. Fuck Scott Lang”

“Yeah! Exactly”

“…”

“…”

“…Well, since he is okay with us sleeping together…”

“Bucky!...well I guess…okay”

 

 Sam is in his bed. He feels good, not exactly sleepy but relaxed. He takes his phone and for the first time of the day uses it to look the messages he had receive. Nothing out of the ordinary until he decided to look at the message from Steve. It was like someone else talked instead of him but at the same time, the way he was speaking was the exact same. They didn’t exchange a lot of message until three or four days before Sam get his shard back. By then, his memories-less-self what clearly and shamelessly flirting with Steve. The thirst was real.

He was embarrassed at first but after all, Steve IS handsome and charming and funny so yeah, even without knowing him he would have found him attractive, sue him.

He changed to Bucky, nothing out of the ordinary, some precisions and questions. Well, thank god he didn’t embarrassed himself with him too!

He was ready to call it a day and put his phone away when something told him to look at his own pictures. He tend not to take many of them now that he was living a life were something like that could put someone in danger but, just to be sure…

It was right there. Not even hidden, just for everyone to see, a short video from three days prior. He pressed play.

He was the one with the phone, his face huge on the screen.

“Hey, hey, Bucky Barnes!” he calls right before the familiar head pop up on the screen.

“What?” Bucky ask looking at Sam and the phone.

Then Sam takes a step closer.

He kisses Bucky.

Bucky laughs, kisses him back?

The Video stops.

 

Sam looks at the video one time again then a second, then… then his body is suddenly right by Bucky’s door and he has one second to register what the sound coming from there means before he opens the door widely, all shock and anger.

Steve jump out of the bed, out of Bucky judging by the legs still in the air.

“What th…” They both start, before being cut by a flying phone Bucky catches in his metal hand.

Sam leaves. Not a word. They look at the video.

“Fuck, I thought we had deleted them” Bucky says frustrated. He sight then look at Steve. He has the same face when he is about to fight an enemy. “Steve, uh uh, I know that face, don’t do anything stupid”

Steve roll his eyes to his right in a clear “Imma do what I want” way so Bucky catches his head to make him look at him, eyes to eyes “Don’t Rogers”.

Bucky needs all of his tricks to keep Steve from leaving to room before the next morning and by then, it’s a call from Wanda finally putting them in hell.

“Yes, Clint is starting to get his memories back. This is great news guys, it means Sam won’t be long to remember everything”

“Oh shit!” Steve curses, running out of their bedroom.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam wasn’t running away or anything, he just went back into his room. His mind just couldn't understand how something like that could have happened.

“Sam…”

At least Steve had the decency to put on a t shirt, even if his boxer was still clearly showing that he had been "active" only a minute or two before.  Sam ignores it totally.

“I just don’t understand. I only knew Tony and Rhodey and not even in the Avenger context. I didn’t knew you or Bucky, right? Or anyone else”

“Yes” Steve answers, already knowing where this is going.

“So how did I ended up kissing Bucky? You saw that video? It was…It was like…”

“Like you “liked” me Wilson?”

Bucky appears in the room, next to Steve, takes his hand to calm the blond. He looks a little cocky and intrigued too, maybe.

“I don’t like you!” he immediately counters. Bucky gives him a knowing look pursing his lips and even Steve is making his “well, about that” face. “Come on, I don’t! You know I don’t Barnes, what the hell?! For all I know, I could have been pretty fucked up without my memories. Clint was more of an asshole so maybe I was super different, even if I don’t think my taste in men can change…”

Bucky was smiling now nodding along and clearly not believing one word of it. The more Sam defends himself, the more Bucky seems to glow.

“This is not possible. This is a nightmare. Is this who I am? Going after taken people? And the wrong one at that!”

“I think you’re making this way more difficult than it have to be Wilson. Besides, you have been pretty clear about how you actually likes my charm so there’s that”.

Sam throat is tight, his hands are opening and closing again and again. He tries another approach.

 “Whatever happened is in the past.  Whatever I said or did was ill informed. You better pray I never remember the shit you two did while I was out”

Steve looked shocked, Bucky was losing his patience and decided to let Sam know.

 “Oh, Sam…YOU better pray to never remember because when you will, and believe me, you will remember since Clint now does, you will come back to us and you will feel pretty stupid about what you’re saying right now. Do not act as if I took advantage of you. This is not what happened and just because you don’t remember it doesn’t give you the right to rewrite history”

 “Excuse me?!”

“You heard me bird brain. We know you are lying. We know you want us, both of us. That’s right. I cannot wait for your memories to come back, maybe then you’ll stop lying so much. I am done with that shitty version of you. I like you way better before and I want THAT Sam back”

“Bucky no…” Steve gasped. He knew Bucky was still holding back but that conversation was turning bad quickly. He didn’t disagree per say with some of the things Bucky was saying, after all, yes, "that Sam" didn’t remember their history but he also hadn't been dragged into flirting with either of them, especially since he started flirting with Bucky almost the second he had met him.

“You liked me better without my memories? Wow…that’s…” he was so hurt he couldn’t finish his sentence. In fact, he didn't even knew that Bucky could hurt him with words only. Especially since he wasn't trying to insult him.

Bucky wasn’t ready to let him go easily.

“You know the worst part for us? It isn’t even like you disappeared or died or something, it's literally right here, inside of you, and for whatever reason YOU decide to act like a jerk and do the exact opposite of what you’re really feeling”

“Bucky, that’s enough” Steve tries without any strength, not looking at Sam, fearing that he would see how much he agrees with Bucky. It's not that he wants to let Bucky fight alone on this, is that he isn't confident enough in his own words to convey efficiently what he thinks. 

“This isn’t…true” Sam tries weakly, denying till his last breathe. All of that for what? He wasn’t sure anymore.  

Bucky turns to Steve and, pointing toward Sam says «demonstration” then look back at Sam and to him “I am going to kiss you and you’re going to let me, do you know why?”

Sam, stopped in his track, gagging. Surely, he isn't earing right or Bucky is out of his mind. There’s no way this is happening…again!

“What the hell? No! Why?”

And he knows he had lost the second he actually fall into his trap and asked “why”. His pride for sole clothes, he was facing Bucky as he closes the distance between them, looking in his blue eyes with, at least he hopes, everything except anticipation. His mouth opens to say “no” when Bucky’s metal hand come on his neck. Something he should fear or stop but instead, his body immediately focuses on Bucky and Bucky alone. His thumb is stroking his jaw and he shouldn’t feel good. He shouldn’t let him do it.

Sam is confused. He sees Bucky give him a smile, tilting his head a little and get closer and closer. Sam closes his eyes. He tries to convince himself that Bucky won’t do it, but he does. He tries to convince himself that he doesn’t like Bucky one bit, that his anger is stronger than whatever his body is trying to tell him but it’s another lie and it’s like something break inside of him. The second he lets himself respond to it, he knows he is doomed. He can’t take it back. When Bucky stops the kiss, Sam hates himself for chasing it a little. He looks at Sam, not with pride or with any kind of joy, just sadness. Sam murmurs “I hate you” eyes on the ground but to everyone, it sound more like “I hate myself”

“I knew it”

And then he is already moving out of Sam’s bedroom.

“You okay?” Steve asks from where he was standing.

“Why are you letting him do this? I don’t understand”

It wasn't easy to Steve but maybe it was for the best. Not only did he loved them both but he could see something grow between them while all the defenses Sam had put started to crumble. They needed to get out of the suffering circle they were in.

“Because we want you Sam, we want you to be with us, really. We talked about this together and he is right. You do care at least enough about us to want it too”

“Steve, I have a Soulmate!” he protested weakly, breathing hard not to cry at the absurdity of the situation. This wasn’t the plan. He wasn’t supposed to have a Soulmate, he wasn’t supposed to be kissed by Bucky and feeling what he was feeling. He wasn’t supposed to fall for Steve even after he knew he shouldn’t be with him.

“Fuck your Soulmate” Steve said and like Bucky before him, he came in front of Sam, using his hand to make the black man look at him “can I?” he asked, making Sam shrug because at that point, what was he supposed to say?

Steve lips were on his and they felt good. Sam wanted more, he wanted to touch him, have him against his body but he didn’t move, he wasn’t strong enough not to do anything stupid, well more stupid than what he already did. Steve broke the kiss.

“I love you Sam. You can take your time and come to us when you’re ready”

Sam made a sound who could mean anything but it was good enough for the blond who left him here and closed the door behind him.

He wanted to sleep. He wanted to forget everything, but he already did, twice, and not only did he managed to be involved with two men at the same time even without his memories but now they were talking about something that wasn’t in the cards at first. They couldn’t be serious, right? They didn’t mean “that”. “Together”? Like a couple…with three person? Since when Bucky even looked at him twice? Since when did HE looked at Bucky twice? Well…that he knows…but this is not the point. The point is, he has a Soulmate and being around Steve and Bucky is getting more dangerous by the minute.

 

Sam is asleep quickly, still thinking about everything that happened. He isn’t surprise to wake up with them in mind.

No.

What surprises him is that he remembers. He remembers everything.

 

It’s so strange to think about what happened and understand “this is what I have thought then”. It was him, without being him. It was him without the burdens, without the limits he puts on himself because of the situation, because he is an Avenger. Like Clint, he definitely had been more blunt and direct about what he wanted. Including Bucky.

Bucky.

Bucky was right.

“Oh my god” he thinks, face in his pillow. “This fucker was right”. He hits his bed trying to let his frustration out.

His feelings are all over the place, he could be with them. He could be with Steve and Bucky and it could work.

It could…No.

He has a Soulmate, somewhere.

He needs to think, he need fresh air…he needs to fly.

 

He gets out of bed it’s just a little before six, runs in the bathroom, he feels like his brain can’t analyze anything correctly to the point where he squeezes the toothpaste tube way too much and almost all of it end up in the sink. Nothing is going correctly, he walks to fast to the door and his coordination seems weird so he hits it with his face. He tries to put his shirt on but is too rough and rip it. He wants to scream desperately, quicken to get out of here. He is at the door when he hears his name.

Bucky.

“That fucker” he thinks not for the first time.

“YOU better pray to never remember” he hears in his head,this is a curse.

His hand blindly looks for his key. Forget the coat, he opens the door, still looking at Bucky like a prey looks at a predator. He looks stupid, bumps into something, he takes a step back until he door lock in front of him.

He runs to where his suit is waiting for him and quickly put it on. He shouldn’t be flying in New York’s sky like that. Nowadays, who knows what or who he could meet there? Like Vision, meditating a few feet away.

Vision is weird like that, just floating in the sky around the Tower.

 

Sam is high, high enough to feel the cold in his body. Higher than he does usually but for whatever reason, he feels fine beside the temperature.

He tries some introspection while doing looping and twirl.

He organizes his thoughts, dancing around despair, hope, joy and anger.

“They didn’t told me they were soulmate” he rages. “How could they not? What if I never got my memories back?” Except, if he never got his memories back, he would have tried to convince them to be together himself, he can feel it. He was way too happy with both of them to at least not try something.

It’s funny, really, how he flirted with Bucky first and still had no problems checking on Steve. The second he stopped being “Steve’s Soulmate” Bucky had been “that fun and brooding hottie” so yeah, of course he felt dumb now. Nobody had say anything when he started flirting with them, but thinking about what Scott had talked about during the diner…maybe everyone else thought they were together in fact. Him going on his “oh, I’m going to find my Soulmate” speech wasn’t a good look when a day before he was publicly cuddling with them.

Look at him.

Dealing with giving up Steve was already too much, which explained why he hadn't done it to this day but adding Barnes in the mix was the recipe for a disaster.

Still, **he had a Soulmate**. What if they find him anyway? In this day and age, you could have someone popping up from nowhere and say “Yo, I’m your Soulmate” and what then? “Oh sorry, I didn’t looked for you because I already have one boyfriend and a half…yeah, they are Soulmate too, I’m just the third wheel”. No, Sam couldn’t let that happen. Even if he “knew” Steve and him could be happy together and didn’t have any idea how Bucky and him would fit in that configuration, living with the concept that he was meant for someone else and was denying them a shot at happiness because of his own selfishness wasn’t sitting well with him.

 

He felt better, complete now. It wasn’t fun or perfect but at least he understood why Bucky had been that angry the night before.

He came back on the roof half an hour later, joined by Vision.

“Hello Samuel, it’s good that you already are in your suit because Maria just called and it seems that we have a mission”

Well, perfect then. He was ready to kick some ass and bring justice with him at least until they told him the team was only of three people with the addition of Bucky Barnes.

No problem, he was a professional.

He didn’t acknowledge Bucky that much but he was sensing him at all time. The looks the man was giving him, the aborted attempts to talk to him, he could sense them without much efforts. Vision wasn’t exactly a talker but was trying to bring some kind of conversation. Time would have seemed way too long if it hadn’t been for him.

His eyes wandered to Bucky without thinking about it as the plane was in the clear blue sky.

“Are you mad at me?” Bucky asked while they were getting ready to be dropped to the entry point.

“No…a little…we can talk about it after okay? If you don’t get shot at least” tries to joke Sam to lighten the mood.

“Counting on you to watch my 6”

“Always” he answers way too easily to his own taste, even if it make Bucky smiles and he likes when the man smile. Sam comes to the conclusion that his own attitude isn’t cute. He isn’t hostile and he definitely isn’t as confrontational as the first weeks he had met the man but he was cold.

The truth was that Sam had put Bucky in a pre-conceived box. He was “the rival”.  Not even that since it’s was a war he couldn’t have possibly won for Steve heart. Then again, it’s kind of his fault, he had a black and white vision about the situation. Steve could be with him or Barnes, not him AND Barnes.

So is he supposed to try a Steve, Bucky, his Soulmate and him kind of deal? Sam laughs to himself at the idea, earning him a concerned look from Vision.

 

He tries to be as focused as possible as they enter the mansion of the rich mad scientist who decided to build a machine destined to send millions of small robots latching on your head and controlling you. Sam’s mission is to disabled the force field Vision couldn’t approach due to a certain frequency they emitted and destroy the enemy ways of leaving the island they were in.

Vision then could get in and destroy the robots while Bucky placed bombs all around and downloaded the files they wanted to make sure the man would be sent in prison.

It went well until Vision was seen flying with a legion of robots trying to get to him.

“I need someone to disarm them. There’s a room heavily guarded on the second floor I couldn’t get in” he warns.

“I’m on it” Sam answers, flying through an already open window on the right floor. He takes the three bigger robots inside by surprise. They looked like murder butlers but not very efficient, kind of slow. He quickly uses Redwing to scout around. The guarded room isn’t far and there’s another force field making Redwing buzz. He sees through the visual link Bucky emerging from nearby and disabling it. He disappears in the now open room with a gesture to the flying robot. Sam sends a command for it to act as a guardian for Bucky as he exist the building to help Vision if necessary. Luckily, Bucky must have found what he needed because all the bots falls a minute later in a metallic rain.

“Found him, exist in one minute, mansion destroyed in two”.

Sam can see through Redwing that Bucky had knocked out the target holding him and had dark suitcase in the other hand.

They exited the perimeter just in time to be at a safe distance when the mansion exploded. Mission accomplished.

 

The way back seems quicker, maybe because Sam’s mind is busy with the debriefing and taking a look at the data’s in the man’s suitcase.

“Hey Sam, there’s this place on MacDonough Natasha talked me about, there’s something I want you to try, wanna go?”

It seems casual, Sam doesn’t feel any pressure from his tone and he likes to try new places. It can be nice. He almost wants to ask if there’s more people coming too but does he really care? Beside, maybe this is the occasion to clean the air with Bucky, they really have some tension between them.

“Yeah, let me shower once we’re back and it’s good”

Bucky nods, looking pleased with himself.

 

The _Alexandra_ is the kind of place Sam expects to be full of hipsters and too crowded or noisy to spend a good time but it’s actually not full (it’s still kind of early for an after work after all) and the people here seems chill and heterogeneous.  Some people are outside, enjoying the sun and not too warm weather but they both prefer to be inside, less exposed.

Sam tries his best not to let his usual attitude toward Bucky show too much, preferring a more “natural” approach. Bucky is tentative at first but more at ease by the time they sit.

There’s a lot of choices, from different kind of coffee to cocktails and beers, Sam is amazed and doesn’t know what to ake first. Bucky who is sited next to him points a line on the menu.

“Try that”

The _John Chaï tea latte_. A Chaï tea latte with rum in it.

“Hanw, you know me so well” Sam can’t help but say fondly as he smiles widely. Bucky isn’t blushing at that but he sure is at the noises Sam makes when he drinks the beverage several minutes later.

“This is so good, mmmmh, you need to try” he moans, pushing the cup in front of Bucky’s face who takes a small sip.

“Okay, it’s mine now” he announces, keeping the cup out of Sam’s reach.

“Man, come on, don’t steal it, take one for yourself” he says half laughing half indignant.

Bucky takes another sip, making a show of darting his tongue a little before giving the cup back. If that was an attempt to stop Sam from drinking, it’s a big fail because not only Sam takes his John back, he drinks it while locking his eyes with Bucky and moaning again an appreciative “delicious”.

“You’re terrible” Bucky breathes, finally turning his head when Sam winks at him. “I’m sorry for the kiss”.

Sam put the cup on the table, makes it rolls in his hands.

“You don’t have to be. I…” he stops, thinks better of what he was going to say “You’re not that bad of a kisser”

“Oh, geez, what a compliment” Bucky snorts, shaking his head and looking in front of him.

“You know I can’t be with you two, right? Deep down, you have to know it. I understand Steve faith but I don’t understand how he got you to agree to all of this”

Here he is, putting his feet in it.

“Steve didn’t have to do anything, oh boy, you’re so wrong. How can you be so wrong?” Bucky turns to him “You, Sam, are the reason I agree with Steve. You tried hard, very, very hard to be a jerk to me and even before the attack, you couldn’t fully commit to it. The man I discovered behind all that, that the man I…the man I want. I want you Sam, I’m not saying or doing anything because of Steve, I’m doing it for me”

“Please, don’t look at me like that” Sam pleads, not used to seeing Bucky hurts because of him. In fact, he isn't sure he was ready to ear that kind of truth.

“Then don’t fucking broke up with us without even give it a chance! That’s what it feels like”

“I have a Soulmate” the more he repeats it, the more he hope it make sense because he doesn’t to him.

“Oh, so now you’re respecting Soulmates uh? Where was that respect when you kissed Steve wishing me hell?”

Sam flinches but he is decided. It was supposed to be easier with Bucky but it’s not, well, it’s too late now to back up anyway.

“You’re right, I am an hypocrite. I didn’t care for you that much then. To be honest I don’t even know what I was hoping trying to get between you and him. I was wrong, I am sorry for that. This is why I can’t be with you”

Bucky put his head on his hand, a finger massaging the bridge of his nose.

“Let me get this straight, you are in love with Steve”

“Yes” Sam answers easily. Everyone knows that by now.

“How do you feel about me? The truth please, don’t joke right now”

Sam is silent for a minute before answering “I like you. You’re a great guy, I can see myself with you, that doesn’t change anything Buck’” he quickly adds at the accusatory regards Bucky send him. “Babe, please” he says, short on ways to calm Bucky and at least, the pet name his efficient enough to stop him completely. “This is not about having feelings for both of you or not, this is about having someone somewhere who is supposed to be special. You know it”

“All Soulmate aren’t romantic Sam” he pouts “this date sucks”

“I am sorry. Maybe I’m making the wrong call but I won’t know unless I try” Sam say finally.

They leave the place not long after that, the tension between them thick, especially since they are going back to the same apartment. Sam decides to change his plan. Excusing himself, he calls Wanda to know if she’s available. Having no horses in this race, she may be of good advices.

 

She is in one of the indoor garden. Not exactly the kind of place Sam visits frequently. It’s…nice…a garden with Stark kind of exuberance. Moss on the wall, floating tulips, giant windows all around. Well, he wouldn’t be surprise to see some non-earth plant here too. He really hopes there’s nothing weird like that fruit making you horny.

He finds Wanda near a pond, siting with a little music coming from her phone. She cuts it when she notices Sam.

“I’m glad you decided to talk to someone about your issues”

“Yeah, me too. I don’t want to dump anything on you so if you’re uncomfortable you can tell me”

“Thank you Sam. Now, let’s begin by the moment you fell in love with Steve”

They talk for a good hour. She tries to have the full picture before actually giving any advice.

“So, without your Soulmate, would you try to be with them both?” she asks without giving any indication about how she feels about it.

“Do I really have to say it?”

“Yes, I think it’s better to say some things instead of thinking that everyone can read mind. And let me tell you, reading mind is messy”

“You’re right, It’s so easy to make other people talk about their problem. I have to be better, even as a counselor, I have to do what I preach”

She nods. Sam pauses he second before answering “Yes, I would”

“But you are saying no because you have a Soulmate. Have you tried to find them?”

“No…I’m scared. Wanda, I didn’t want to let Steve go and I honestly couldn’t imagine that I would end up feeling that for someone else, for Bucky of all people, now here I am”

“Since you have your memories back, can you identify who they were linked to? You forgot almost all of us”

Sam thinks, laying on the way to green grass.

“No, not really. If I have forgotten some kid thirty years ago, I won’t remember them even now. To be honest, no one makes sense”

“So, you’re going to look with the database?”

“I should”.

She gives him a look. He is ready to ear her opinion.

“Sam, you have to understand for yourself if your Soulmate is more important than Steve and Bucky. I know this is a bad thing to say but it’s the truth. You don’t know what kind of relationship you will have with that person. What you do know is that there’s two men, two of your friends in love with you and willing to give you a space with them. If you can’t choose quickly, everybody is going to be hurt because no one likes to be second choice. Your ending in the same situation Steve was in”

Sam is gladhe was already on the ground or else he would have fallen anyway. He was doing to same thing he had accused Steve of. Unable to completely shut down one choice. But Steve had made his choice ultimately and he had to do it too.

 

Two weeks and three missions later, Sam is back from the marriage of one of his sister’s friend. He had a nice time, mind totally in the beautiful event. He didn’t knew a lot of people here but that was the kind of occasion he preferred to be with a small group, almost having a party inside the party.

He has enough leftover to totally fill one full suitcase. The groom was a fan of The Falcon (really excited to meet Sam) and the Avengers. He heavily insisted for Sam to leave with enough to make the others have a taste since a lot of it had been cooked by his family (they owned a restaurant). Well, if that’s was all he needed to be a happy man, Sam was ready to help.

He goes to Wanda’s first, then Natasha and Rhodey. He is exhausted when he finally gets home. No one is here and he is a little disappointed since he can’t wait to share the food with the other two men. He had a hard time smoothing things with them but since he didn’t had contact with either of the two since a little more than a week, he really hoped he would see them.

He missed them.

He half wanted to sleep but the necessity to tidy up everything was stronger. He was ready to slide on the couch, old tank top and short on.

The door opens and Steve appeared behind it. He seems surprised to see Sam, providing a small “hey” as he got inside. There was something careful about the way he moved himself. Not because of an injury but because of Sam. He is tired of this. Tired of being a source of troubles for them.

He spot the exact moment Steve comes back from the kitchen a beer in hand and considers going to his room instead of stating in the living room. Sam gets up, quick as a flash and without a word goes to Steve, take his free hand and lead him to the couch. He takes the beer and put it on the coffee table. Steve looks at him with a frown. Sam pushes him until he is on his back and lay with him, head above his pec.

“Your heartbeat is loud…you’re scared” Steve notices, passing a hand on Sam’s back. He doesn't know why Sam is suddenly all in hug spirit but he won't say anything about that.

“I am…I don’t want to be”

They stay like this, Sam in Steve’s arms until he is calmer. He plays absentmindedly with Steve’s shirt, the fabric rolling between his fingers.

“I could sleep like this, your heartbeat is soothing” Sam murmurs.

“You can, I’ll wake you up later if you want”

Sam laughs softly “I’m so tempted right now”. Steve body is warm around him, not like a furnace but still making him doze off. It feels good, natural even. “You have the perfect temperature” he continues softly, half asleep. “At least today I won’t poke you in the butt…”

Sam feels the body underneath him freeze.

Sam shuts his eyes and curses inside his head, unfortunately, Steve sensed his eyelids, he straighten himself and sit, forcing Sam to sit too and looking at him with eyebrows raised. Sam bites the inside of his cheeks, looking away.

“You have something to share Sam?” Steve demands in a tone just a little too much Captain-y.

Sam head rolls back toward the ceiling “Fuck”

“Since when do you remember?”

“Since you decided I was Snow white and both of you kissed me after the video episode” he admits.

“That was two weeks ago!”

Ah yeah, one of the decisions Sam took thinking it will work out and they did not.

“Well, the thing is…You see…”

“If you tell me the reason you didn’t say anything was to not let Bucky know he was right, I swear Sam we will have words”

Sam face was darker if it ever was possible. Steve knows enough body language to see that he had hit right. He gets out of the couch, he doesn’t even have the time to say anything else, the door is opening on Bucky and Natasha. They both takes the scene in.

“Come one, you always appears in the worst moment” Sam breathes to both Natasha and Bucky.

“What is going on here?” Bucky asks.

“He remembers, he remembers since after we both kissed him two weeks ago and only accidentally reveled it now” Steve accuses.

Natasha enters the room and sit on one of the high chair in front of the kitchen bar. She doesn’t even bother to pretend she wants to leave them some privacy. At least she doesn’t take a beer to enjoy the show.

“Oh, I knew it, I told you it wasn’t possible he wouldn’t have remember by now Steve. I told you so.”

“Can I explain myself? Are you both finished?” he cuts before they have more time to think the worst. Steve hands are on his hips clearly waiting, Bucky arms are crossed over his chest. ”Well…I didn’t want Bucky to know he was right” Sam admits, trying to get that out of the way first knowing it will get him the worst reaction. They are indignant, Natasha is cackling.

“You are the worst Wilson” Bucky immediately says, followed by Steve.

“Two whole weeks? Seriously?!”

“BUT THEN” he continues “I needed time to figure out what I wanted and how my new memories fitted in that. You know how it is Bucky” Sam points, because they can have a little more empathy.

“That’s…kind of low”

“Okay, but this is the truth. Everything I told you about not wanting you and wanting to find my soulmate instead…I have said the exact opposite. I knew you didn’t want to go further with me “not being me”. So I took my shard and I hoped that I wasn’t as messy as I figured I was with you two but guess what, I am. So no, I can’t just jump and say “hey, I remember now let’s be together” even if you both think I’m a jerk for it. Yes, Bucky, I feel like an idiot right now, are you happy?”

“You still should have trust us enough to talk to us” Bucky answers simply. Because it’s a fact and Sam is trying very hard to not be in his own way.

“He’s right, of course we wanted you to remember because we thought that was the only way for us to have a chance but if you ultimately choose not to be with us, then so be it” Steve concludes.

“Yeah, well, none of you told me you were together, let alone Soulmate then so technically, you both were lying first” Sam clap back.

“We were all surprised by the fact Sam was so cozy with you two, but if he didn’t knew…” Natasha says to herself but loud enough that the three men catches it perfectly clear.

“We should have, this is true. We apologize for that, it was wrong and misleading” Steve says after a few seconds, looking at Bucky who nods. “Natasha, could you please leave us? I think we need to clear some things”

“You know I will end up knowing everything anyway, right?”

“Natalia” Bucky groans and the redhead gets up, visibly pouting and leaves.

None of them knows how not to worsen the situation. Steve tries anyway.

“I know I have made mistakes Sam. I assume them. I am sorry because I hurt you, and I hurt Bucky too in the time it took me to figure out what I wanted. I only hope I was consistent enough for you to know my feelings for you are real”

Sam is visibly thinking before turning to Bucky eyebrows raised “Aren’t you going to say something sweet to convince me that I should be with you?” he asks.

“No”

“How so that’s how it is?”

“Guys, please”

So they stay here, in the middle of the living room, looking at each other’s daring someone else to talk about what to do.

“Steve, he doesn’t want us” Bucky finally say, looking at the wall near him, jaw tight “I can’t do this shit anymore, I’m sorry” he starts to walk toward his room but Sam is in the way. He breathes hard, takes a step to the right but Sam does the same, definitely blocking him.

“I already told you Barnes, this isn’t about not wanting or having feelings for you. I do love you. I know I do. That’s why it’s killing me to have to let a part of me go”

They are both right in front of each other’s but they don’t look at the other face, trying to hold back frustration tears. Bucky human hand comes to Sam shoulder and for a second, Sam fears he will be shove out of the way but instead, his head is meeting Bucky’s neck and the man his hugging him hard. Sam makes a hand move for Steve to join and the blond his adding his body in the mix.

Sam knows he is home, here, with them. He can’t imagine feeling that with anyone else. That’s the only answers that matters.

This is why he look at Bucky and kisses him, surprising him. One of his hand finds its way under Steve shirt, stroking his side. They gets the message but still aren’t sure about this.

Sam is.

He brings Steve to him, kisses him deeply immediately, making him moan in his mouth. His free hand grabs Bucky’s butt, making him chuckle. He removes his own shirt and likes the way both men are looking at him. Steve goes for his neck, Bucky for his nipple and he falls in a dance of pleasure. He is so impatient he almost rips Bucky black shirt. He doesn’t care. He want them.

More kisses, more hands, body against body.

Bucky is behind him, shirt and pants off, swaying his hips against Sam’s ass reminding him of that first night together (without the sex part). His own pants is open but not removed. Steve has the most clothes on. Facing them, he makes a show of taking off his t shirt. Sam grabs him, it’s Bucky who kisses him, making Sam almost feel like a voyeur. The pants doesn’t take long to follow. Bucky gets on his knees, kissing Sam’s back all the way to his ass where he gropes the pants and yank it town. Bucky playfully bites Sam’s ass through his boxer, Steve looks at him with lust written all over his face. Sam follows his sight, his cock is already leaking, a transparent drop visible where the head is. Almost in slow motion, he sees Steve finger touch it, collect it before bringing it to his mouth and…

“Oh my god” Sam breathes, making Steve blush and kiss him harder than ever.

“You sure about it?” the blond asks him, it’s a loaded question but Sam answers truthfully.

“Yeah, I am sure”

Steve doesn’t want to ask if it’s a one time thing or not, he wants to fully enjoy the moment.

Bucky is still kissing and biting his back, ass, thigh, playing with the underwear to reveal one cheek but he stops suddenly.

Sam is immediately self-conscious, his mind racing to think about what the problem could be.

“Steve, come here” he ears Bucky asks. He wants to move but Bucky’s hand are steel against his hips.

Steve gives Sam a peck then joins his Soulmate behind him.

“What are you two doing?” Sam demands, feeling his boxers being pulled away. “Come on, is there a problem?” he ears himself ask, not feeling so well at the moment. No one answers. He turns quickly, escaping Bucky’s hand and ready to look for an answer but all sees is Steve looking at him like a ghost and Bucky with tears in his eyes. “I know I have a nice ass but you both are freaking me out” Sam adds, already replacing his boxer and putting his hand in front of his crotch.

Steve, gets up, put his hand in the air and Sam doesn’t immediately understand what he is supposed to do. A hand, ok, a muscled arm, ok and here, under his pit, his Soulmark. It’s his second time seeing it but it’s different from what he remembers. Before, it was three circles with two parallels lines crossing through them but now, the lines were fractioned in three smaller one, each in one circle now. The circles were positioned in a way that they were all circling one end of a triangle.

Weird.

“I’m almost certain your mark wasn’t like that one year ago” he frowns.

“No, it wasn’t, but it changed’ Steve answers.

“Doesn’t it ring any bell Sam?” Bucky asks, making Sam frowns harder.

“No. Why?”

Bucky and Steve look at each other and the look on Bucky’s face is utter disbelief.

“You said you were going to look for your Soulmate. Haven’t you at the very least LOOKED at your own Soulmark?” he asks getting up, followed by Steve.

“Yeah, I did, it’s a plain black triangle”

Bucky starts laughing “Oh wow”

“Maybe you should look at it now then” Steve proposes in a way that means “do it”.

Sam wants to know what the fuck they are talking to and why it matters what his mark looks like. Unless…unless they know who’s matching with him. His heart starts to beat violently in his chest as the idea of them already knowing with his Soulmate is makes its way in his mind. He goes to is room, the two men aren’t following him and it doesn’t make him feel better at all even if he has to be in a ridicule position to see his own mark.

He turns the light on, takes off his underwear, position himself on his bed and in front of the closet’s mirror. For a second, he fears to look at the mark but decides to do it anyway.

Hell can come.

His mark…is different. It’s not a plain black triangle anymore. What he thought was scratches are now lines and three circles appeared out of nowhere.

His Soulmark.

His fucking Soulmark.

He sits on his bed, hands shaking.

“Maybe we should go see Dr Cho” he vaguely ears Steve proposes from the door of his room.


	9. Chapter 9

The night had been too short and too long at the same time. They were all alternating between sleeping and thinking about what the Doctor Cho had said to them. "Yes, marks can change under certain circumstances. Yes some people have more than one Soulmate".

They actually didn’t talk about it among themselves, heading straight to sleep once back in their apartment. Sam tried to go in his own room only to be blocked by two men “Okay, okay, I get it” he had say, defeated (but not unhappy).

Bucky was the little spoon, Steve was in the middle and Sam was behind him. It was different from when they did slept together before. There’s some intimacy they didn’t share before. It’s the soft breath of Sam in Steve’s neck, the way Bucky’s hand touch his hips above his boxer, the way Steve pet Bucky’s hair against his chest. It was how at ease they felt. Night becomes day and with that, Sam gets up, immediately followed by the two other men, making breakfast and coffee in silence.

“Maybe Bucky and I can take you on a date tonight? I mean, a real date since…you know”

Sam looks at Steve, putting his coffee mug on the table. Maybe it’s the surprise, but he only blinks and doesn’t say anything, which prompt Steve to continue.

“I know it’s a shock, for all of us I think, it sound almost too good to be true if I’m being honest” he confesses.

The others agrees with him. They clearly don’t considers themselves as lucky guys so how come they are all linked?

“I think we deserves it” Bucky declares, arms crossed “Who cares why it’s happening, it’s ours now. I’ll let no one and nothing take our bond away from us”

Sam is happy. He really is, but people like them…nothing is staying gold too long. He wants to be careful, that’s all.

There’s a knock on the door, surprising them. They look at each other is confusion before Bucky goes to see who it is. He comes back a few seconds later with Natasha behind him, a large hat on her head and sunglasses. She seems more ready to go to the beach than on a mission but the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

“Hello boys, am I interrupting?”

“Hi, Nat, actually…” Steve starts only to be cut by the woman, siting near Sam and stealing a bit of mango.

“I was just passing by to inform you that we did find most of the Soulmates affected. By the end of the week, it will be done. Why are you all looking like you didn’t slept? Mhh…You did not” she analyzes, squinting at Sam then Steve and to finish, Bucky. Sam doesn’t look at her, but she can tell she is on something by the way he closes himself. “So, Sam, I know you have a hard time and that you’re thinking about finding your soulmate, what about going out tonight? You could be my wingman and since it would pretty much be for life when you find your Soulmate, we can go to that place, and you know which one, don’t try to deny it, the one where Ruben is working. You remember Ruben? Of course you remember” she proposes innocently.

Sure enough, Bucky chokes a little on his coffee and Steve glares in her direction, silently fuming, which she likes without letting it show too much.

“I…do remember” Sam can only answer before Bucky takes a step toward him and Steve makes a throat sound. “Well, I do remember but unfortunately, I have a date tonight” he adds quickly, trying to appease his two Soulmates.

She arches an eyebrow at that and, not for the first time, he knows that he won’t escape her until she has everything.

“I want a name Wilson”

“And I want to eat my breakfast without a spy dropping by and doing an interrogation in my kitchen” Bucky intervenes from behind Sam hand on the chair behind him.

“Come on, don’t you both want to know who is his date?” She looks at them, Bucky stare right back but Steve eyes goes from the wall to Sam in a quick back and forth. “Unless you already know…”

“Well Natasha, it was nice seeing you, now you can go, bye” Bucky tried to get to her not caring about behind rude but she was too quick and jumped out of the chair, going further into the apartment.

“You can all play nice or you can make me work for the info. If I work for it, I will learn thing you don’t want me to know, is it worth it?” she threatens playfully. No one can know for sure if she’s joking or not.

Sam just hides his face in his hands and groans. Steve goes into a rant on privacy and blackmailing. Natasha regrets it immediately because she can’t talk during a full three minutes and by then, Sam exchange a look with Bucky who shrugs. Well, it’s not like it’s a secret he guesses, so he slowly put himself in front of Steve who stops immediately to focus on him. Sam put his hand on his cheek and simply smirk making Steve smiles back. Then, he turns to Natasha “I have a date with Steve…” she gasps “AND Bucky” she gasps again, her hand on her cleavage.

“My, my, my, Samuel Wilson, you naughty boy”

“There’s nothing “naughty” about it, now that you know, please don’t be weird about it”

“Okay but…” She looks at the two other men and pretend to look embarrassed “Don’t you have a Soulmate that you were about to look for? Like, yesterday?”

“Well, it’s too late now, he is with us” Bucky announces proudly. “They can come, they will catch these hands” he mimics fighting, earning a side eye from Sam.

“Well Sam, I am happy that you had made your choice, I wasn’t sure you would make that one thought”

Bucky joins the two men, grabs them, one under each arms and smiles “Yeah, Steve and I got some pretty convincing arguments”

Natasha looks skeptical. Sam and Steve knows Bucky are provoking her with that phrasing but she plays the game and asks “And what would they be? Because for Sam to give up his Soulmate for you two, full offense but they must be really good”

Bucky is looking so smug right now, Steve is used to that face. It’s the “I’m going to say something I shouldn’t say and you will eat it up”

“The good dick”

Sam wants nothing more than shove frat Bucky away for a second but he wonders if Natasha will believe it. She laughs. She laughs like Bucky just told an amazing joke. Does she really finds that funny or is she messing with him? Nobody knows. Sam tries his best to keep his face neutral, especially since he actually doesn’t know. Usually, he wouldn’t get involve in that kind of conversation with Natasha but for once he decides otherwise.

“Well, in fact, this is true” he agrees, slowly stroking Steve neck and hoping he would play along too.

Natasha stops laughing and look at them like they are a bunch of idiots. “You want to tell me Sam wouldn’t look for his Soulmate because the dick is too bomb?”

“Maybe we can talk about something else. Maybe we can train, what time is it? Almost eight. Wow, guys, let’s go, we have things to do” cuts Steve clearly embarrassed.

Sam smiles to himself.

“Now you know why we didn’t slept much last night’

 

They weren’t together during the rest of the day. Steve was quickly called by Maria to discuss about some laws while Bucky was working on some kind of secret flying motorbike with Rhodey and Scott. The rest of the Avengers already knew it would be a vehicle straight from hell and able to destroy half a city. Luckily for the world, they were the good guys.

Sam was following Wanda in his quest to learn more about magical artefact. Dr Strange had sent them a pair of glass, both the size of a regular cola can. Whatever you put in one reappeared in the other. It was fun at first, since the only thing that could be teleported was what could fit in one of the glass. Liquids, a small stone, keys…it was really useful too since it wasn’t tech based, so, only magic could interfere with it. Then, Wanda accidentally activated some kind of crazy mode and that thing started vacuum things bigger than itself to the point where one of Tony laptop got in and got ejected through the other glass. The laptop had been crushed until he could fit so only a ball of metal had reappeared. It wasn’t nice to see and they both looked at the glass in horror, picturing way to clearly what that kind of thing could go to something alive.

“Well, the idea is nice, the execution…”

Sam starts laughing, he put his hand in front of his mouth, trying to keep his laugher but can't, soon, he is joined by Wanda, and with a morbid curiosity, they destroyed a chair, a shoe and even one of Tony forgotten and unfinished drone.

“We can’t let Bucky, Scott and Tony know about this, this is terrible” Sam managed to say between two tears. “Oh lord, that concept could do wonder paired up with Redwing”

“I can imagine. We should send them back to Strange, he probably has weirder things in stock”

Sam was ok with that. He had no intention being accidentally sucked and killed by a water glass. They cautiously put the items back in the box they were in, Wanda sealing it with a quick glow of her powers.

A brief vibration in his pocket makes Sam took his phone, it was a message from Bucky “Diner @home tonight, put something nice” Sam tried to look annoyed but Wanda could clearly see his cheekbone high on his face.

“What’s that?” she asks curious.

“My date…Oh my god! Wanda! I didn't told you” he suddenly remembers, filling her in on the latest development, even admitting the way they find out about his mark.

“So…Did you have Soulmate-discovery-sex or…”

“WANDA! NO!” He protested.

“What? That’s what I would do, probably. So, tonight then. After all, they are taking you on a date”

“I don’t fu…have sex the first date, I’m a classy man”

“One, you can say fuck, two, you had one night stands, three, it can hardly count as a first date. I don’t know about Steve because HE is a classy man but Bucky, oh oh, Bucky is waiting for you for some times now so maybe you should trim down there because no one likes pubes hair in their mouth”

Sam was shocked to hear her say all of that so directly. She kept the same look on her face, not giving away any indication that she was kidding about it. She was dead serious.

“Girl, you spend way too much time with Natasha”

“Maybe” she laughs “she sure likes to teach me new things. Anyway, you should clean up nice, you’re already handsome but why not be breathtaking for your first night together? Especially if they’re aiming for casual, it will be a sight to remember” she proposes with a knowing grin and a wink. Like Natasha, she doesn’t even wait for an answer, instead, she passes her arm under Sam’s and continues talking while looking for a barber.

 

 

“You know I’m not going to propose or something?” Sam asks Wanda and Scott who decided to join them on their way to “make Sam get laid”

“Come on, I guarantee you won’t get to dessert dressed like that” the man comments, looking with real appreciation and with a critical eye like he was some kind of stylist. Scott Lang wasn’t known for his sense of style so Sam was kind of side-eyeing him even if he seems to suddenly has good tastes.

“You will be the dessert for sure” Wanda approved, making Sam turn to see his back.

“Yes, I need one of those jeans two, look at that ass”

Sam was flattered, Scott was full of friendly praise.

“So, hair and facial hair, done, clothes, done, oh, underwear?”

“Oh my god, yes!” Scott looks so excited, Sam decides to let the man talk. “So Luis, you know my friend Luis? So he got a friend with a bike who works at that underwear store, only men things, he brought me there once, let me tell you, I brought that one velvet boxer, that same week, I got laid each day. I have a golden week. A golden week Sam!”

Sam wonders with horor if Scott kept the same underwear every day of that week without cleaning it. Wanda who takes the matter seriously start to discuss with him the merits of velvet on your booty so Sam is half nodding, half laughing at them. Finally, they did convince him to take a look at the store and it was overwhelming. So many choices…so many. Wanda was outside while Scott was acting like he owned the place. Sam knew he would have to get back here, right now, he had a date and needed something a little nicer than his usual black boxer. Not that, if it come to the sexy part, they would be that appreciated anyway.

 

With a lighter wallet, he finally gets home. He got one hour to get ready as they decided to do the “date” here, adding to the theory that Sam is about to get some action (Wanda was reading it in the stars and also, Scott told her that when he left Bucky and Rhodey, the man was glowing). Trying to avoid two people in a shared apartment was hard but not impossible. He purposely wraps himself in two towels from head to toe just in case when he gets out of the steaming bathroom.

In the safety of his own room, he put on his new and sexy boxer, white with some transparent arabesques all over. A navy carrot jeans with the sole purpose of makig his ass pop and a white shirt with shiny black and silver stripes on the shoulders. He looked like he was trying but wasn’t a try-hard because, in fact, he wasn’t. Scott and Wanda were.

He puts on his better cologne, the one only for the specials occasions and looks at himself. He really hopes they’ll like it. He feels weird, being nervous suddenly. He knows he shouldn’t be but it’s a step in their relationship. He wants to impress them, give them something to remember.

He can hear some noises from the living room, looking at the time, only five minutes left. He takes a deep breath before opening the door. The first one he sees is Bucky, a simple black slim jean but his shirt…where does this shirt comes from? Black with lace on each side of the button revealing the pink skin underneath from the interior of his pecs to his abs. His hair are in a braid, swinging as he walks toward the kitchen before coming back with Steve. Brown trousers, white shirt with short sleeves, two buttons opens with black and blue suspenders.

They took the date as casually as Sam.

They both look at him from head to toe while he does the same for them.

“Sooooo, what’s the plan again?” he asks, just to say something because he could spend a lot of time just staring at them.

“Do you want Steve’s version, or mine?” Bucky answers with a straight face.

“Why would you have two version?”

Sam is confused, looking at Bucky’s grin while Steve rolls his eyes, “Tell him your program Steve”

“Well diner is about to be delivered, yes I know, I should have done it myself” he looks pointedly at Bucky at that “but I wanted it to be perfect so I asked Tony a tiny favor. Besides, I did the drinks and dessert myself so it counts right?”

“That sound good” Sam smiles, reassuring Steve. ”What your version is supposed to be?” he asks Bucky trying not to let too much suspicion in his voice. The braided hair man smiles, proud of him “We ditch diner and go straight to the last meal and by meal I mean sexy time” he says while wiggling his eyebrows.

“Sexy time? After the first date? I don’t think so. My ma’ didn’t raised that kind of man” Sam responds easily, knowing very well that Bucky was waiting the first occasion for them to go there. He is delighted by his confused face, Steve, next to him, nods.

“I told you Bucky, but you didn’t listen. Sam is a gentleman”

Welp, Sam stops smiling because…he does want sex, he was just messing with Bucky but it backfired because Steve is praising his will and good manners. Bucky looks at Sam directly making the man turn his head with a “whoops” face.

“So I guess we’re going for Steve plan” he confirms, earning him a “Just so you wait” look from Bucky. Steve is happy and already going to collect something in the fridge. Turns out, Steve could be an amazing bartender. His mixologist skills were on point. Seeing him using that chrome shaker was a little erotic for Sam. 

He is so hypnotized by Steve movements that he doesn’t even know what he is about to drink. Once they all have their glasses, Steve raises his.

“Never in my life would I imagine being this blessed. I’m not going to lie, it has been a journey” they chuckles, Sam bites his lips, feeling still a little guilty “but I am glad we have finally found each other’s. So, let me be old school a little. Bucky, you know how important you are to me. We went through so much and you always were a light in my life when I thought I couldn’t do more. I am glad to be your friend, your boyfriend, your Soulmate” he pauses, getting misty-eyed “Sam, I don’t know what I would have done without you. I can honestly say that even if I have met you in my time, I would have been gone for you. You make me feel stronger almost literally. Anyway, I love you and I want you to be with me, with us”

Steve looks at Bucky then.

“Am I supposed to do a speech too? Man, why didn’t you warned me, I don’t do improvisation like you”

Sam was laughing, Steve was repeating “come on” embarrassed.

“Ok, ok…well…Steve…since I knew you, you were a pain in the ass and I knew from the start that you would have a special place in my heart, in my life. Even if things were different back then. You saved me in a lot a ways so thank you for that. Thanks for being you. Sam…Well” he stops, thinking about something “The first time I met you, I knew Steve was in love with you, and weirdly enough, I never was…jealous. I think I always wanted to understand it. Now I do so because...you know,so yeah, date us”

Sam and Steve could tell Bucky was putting on a braver face than how he truly was. The man was sometimes nervous about what he felt. Sam couldn’t let their words without an answer.

“I’m not sure what to say. Falling in love with you was evident, Steve. Not because of your amazing body but because of your personality. I could fight the world with you. Soulmate or not, you were tattooed on my heart, as cliché as it sounds” He turns toward Bucky, making the liquid turns slowly in his glass “losing my memories opened my eyes, I wasn’t a friend to you. It’s not that you weren’t on my radar, is that when it came to you, I was shutting down the radar altogether.  You’re a great man Bucky Barnes and I’m happy to feel what you make me feel now. So, yes, I want to date both of you, if you’ll have me”.

Glass again glass, they take a small sip of their drink. It’s good, really good. Bucky kisses Steve right after, and goes for Sam who happily lets him. Steve is next but instead, he takes Sam drink and put it on the bar, doing the same for his.

He pushes Sam until his back is again the wall and goes full-on assault mode on his mouth. Sam makes an undignified sound, absorbed by Steve.

“And that’s how you give your official first kiss to your Soulmate” he says, to Sam and to Bucky too.

“Oh you traitor!” Bucky exclaimed “You acted all pure and mighty but you want to bang just as much as me” he accuses, trying to shove Steve away.

“Me?” he asks innocently, batting his eyelashes “I never said I didn't want to fric froc, I said, Sam is a gentleman”

“You little shit”

They playfully half fight, half fondle and Sam is very interested by the vision of it. Especially when they start making out like their life was depending on it. Unfortunately for Sam, “something” wasn’t in the right position to woke up, without thinking, he tried to rectify that by shoving quickly a hand down his pant but with two supersoldiers, he wasn’t quick enough not to be noticed.

“Oh oh, having trouble there Sammy?”

“Yeah, maybe you want to help with that?”

“No, I know dinner is about to arrive, just…be patient okay?” Steve tried to plead, only to have Bucky come from behind and pass his hands on his pecs.

“Yeah, Steve, let’s be patient”

Steve jumped away, face red, hiding his hardening nipples. “Bucky!” he warned making the other man laugh. Sam used the moment of distraction to slap his ass, making the blond yelp.

“You sure you will be able to behave Steve?”

Sam and Bucky were circling the poor man, sending lusty vibes his way.

“I’ll remember that in due time” he warned again, his tongue passing over his upper lip.

During all diner, the game was apparently to torment Steve. Nobody was caring about the food, not even Steve who was having one eye on Sam and one eye on Bucky. He tried to act civilized, patting his mouth with a tissue once done. Ignoring the way Bucky’s leg was playing with his own.

“Well, it was delicious, should we take the dessert now?” Sam asked with a content smile.

“Yeah, Steve, maybe we should, I always had a sweet…tooth”

“Oh, you want desert?” He got up, and promptly was looking for something in the kitchen, then he was back as quickly with a bottle in his hand. Under the questioning look of his Soulmates, he took his shirt off completely, only keeping his suspenders on like some sort of striper and poured some honey between his pecs creating a line, the product going down slowly. “Here it is”

“Oh wow”

“Ah, Steve, exactly what I had in mind” Bucky quickly replied, already coming in front of him, passing a finger in the thick liquid, instead of putting it in his mouth, he just smeared it on the left pink nipple and licked it right there.

“Are you going to just sit there Sam?” Steve asks, eyes dark with need and anticipation. Sam didn’t need to be told twice, his mouth was on Steve neck in an instant, kissing his way down and meeting Bucky halfway. “You better lick me clean because otherwise, I’ll be sticky later”

Sam couldn’t believe Steve would be the kind of man to take charge like that in bed too. He isn’t complaining but it’s sure is a shock.

“Something tells me you’ll be sticky anyway Rogers” he answers with a wink. Feeling audacious, he put his hand on the throbbing bulge, cupping it. Soon, his own shirt was opened by Bucky and by the time his mouth was playing with his dark nipple, Sam had open Steve pants, his moans half muffled by the length he just took in his mouth.

Steve looked like it was Christmas the second he saw the white boxer. Definitely a winner. The way Bucky was kissing it and playing with it was making him leak.

Clothes were all around when they decided to take the party to the bed. After some more kissing and teasing, Bucky found himself on his back, Steve between his legs, licking and sucking, from the dark pink tip of his cock to the different shade of dark pink of his hole. Steve didn’t saw Sam position himself and starting to kiss his back, going south to his exposed ass. Left cheek, right cheek, kissing his pink eye right here for the taking.

“Sam you…”

Steve was cut by a lap, then a second and sooner rather than later, he started to pant against Bucky’s cock.

They changed position, again, and again until Steve was the one on his side, behind Bucky who was kissing Sam. He could sense the exact moment Steve got inside. The moan escaping them both was a delight for the ear.

“God, Steve…”

Bucky’s eyes were close but he was kissing and stroking Sam without stopping. Sam went standing above Bucky so as Steve could suck him at the same time. He could see Bucky’s ass moving in rhythm with Steve hips.

“Sam, could you…I want you…inside” Steve asks, embarrassed still. Not the confident man he has been in the beginning anymore. With a smile, and a kiss, he makes an approval sound.

He starts with a finger, coated in the lube Steve used on Bucky. “You’re so tight baby” he murmured in Steve neck “I think I got some condoms in my room”

“Okay, but uh, since we’re tested after each mission, it’s...as you wish you know”

And well, it made sense. They were all tested for a variety of thing after each missions and Sam didn’t have sex with anybody for at least six months so he knew he was good.

“Are you okay with that too?” he asked Bucky. The man made an “ok” sign and maybe they shouldn’t be having that conversation in the middle of sex but he is sure of him and sure of them.

He position himself behind Steve while he lays himself on top of Bucky. Braid half gone, he doesn’t miss a beat and uses his hands on the white little booty of Steve, spreading him open. Steve doesn't stop, licking his neck too while he tries to find the good angle to make Sam go in. He is so tight, each time they think it’s going in, the dick jerks sideway making Steve groans in frustration and Sam laugh with amusement.

“I got you” Sam says, smiling to Bucky. He puts himself right at the entrance and begin to gets inside, bit by bit. Steve is swearing like a sailor until finally he is all in.

“Sorry, it’s not something I’m used to”

“Nothing to be sorry for Steve”

“Wait, I want to look at him while he is fucked” Bucky says enthusiastically, already escaping the blond.

Steve started moving, face in the sheets. Bucky was stroking himself looking at the too, then came behind Sam, his dick between his cheek but not penetrating him. His hand all over his body until Sam movement made him dangerously close to fuck him too. He was about to ask Sam if he wanted it when the man gave him the lube, still fucking Steve. The sound Sam made was priceless. All the room was moans and bodies inside bodies.

“I’m coming” he warned and Bucky nodded, hands on Sam hips, stronger and stronger. Steve was the first to burst, sperm flying on his abs, pecs and neck. Then almost at the same time, Bucky, and the sensation added to the sight of Steve riding his orgasm sent Sam over the edge, feeling the blond clenching around him. if it wasn’t for Bucky keeping him steady, he would have fallen. The sensation was way too intense, he sure felt the orgasm but just after that, there was something else. He couldn’t explain but it was a breathtaking second.

The sensation of Bucky leaving him made his dick jolt one more time, Steve sure felt it. They lay on the bed, Sam next to Steve and Bucky on top of them like a human starfish.

“God, that was…”

“Yeah, it was” Steve agreed

“Oh yes, definitely” Bucky said in return.

“So…should we go back for the real dessert or…” proposed Sam, making his Soulmates laugh.

 

 

Being with two men was an adjustment.

First of all, He took some time for Sam and Bucky to truly get into their own dynamic as a couple and not something who had to exist because of Steve.

Then came the part where Sam had to explain to certain people that he was dating not one but two white boys from another time. His mother was unimpressed but really supportive.

Sam was amazed by how simple his relationship with Steve was once he got his head out of his ass. They talked more, not wanting to let any misunderstanding coming between them again.

Also, the mark had a weird effect on them, acting like some kind of second serum. They were stronger and faster, the effect more intense when they were close to each other. It definitely become handy.

 

Ready for their new mission, they were on the roof of an ancient building. The target was moving, unaware, doing his villainous activities under the city lights.

“Ready when you are” Steve said, ready to jump.

Bucky nodded, in position too.

Sam’s wings spread.

“I’m ready”


End file.
